Stoppage Time Before Game Time

thumbs-and-ammo-replace-guns-funny-photoshop4We are moving on from Sunday’s World Cup game- that ferocious kick in the peanut gallery of a game. Let us all take solace in realizing that we now have all tasted the sour smell of sports sadness, soccer style.

Noon on Thursday and the game between the US and Germany is still a ways away. Yes, you could spend that time impressing your friends by working in the phase “on the pitch” into conversations. You could read various articles that talk about whether or not the US choked and lost that game or if the greatness of Ronaldo finally emerged after 94 minutes of “wait, that’s one of the best players in the world?” Scouting the German team is option, albeit a potentially dispiriting one if your goal is to remain hopeful that the American team will win on Thursday. Cause dude, the Germans are good, right? They’re one of the favorites to win the whole damn thing and we just want to win one more damn game to get out of our damn group. Damn.

You could do or think or read all of that.

Or you could think about other things besides soccer.

Like Spencer Albee’s new tune.

It’s a great tune. And it’s such a tune, not as much of a song. I almost think it’s too short to be considered a song. Tune would seem to describe something short, bouncy, cheerful- all things “Why Am I Fool?” is. And the video is a lot of fun. I love the color tone. The song is going to be on Albee’s new album, Signature Half-Step: A Retrospective 2000-2014. Albee has a lot of music to choose from, so I have no doubt it’ll be a great compilation. Albee rarely releases anything I’m not 100% on board, the most recent occurrence being the solo album, Spencer, he released last year.

And you know, “Why Am I Fool?” is only two minutes long. Check it out again before we go any further.

Moving on…

You could think about the complete Yasiin Gaye mash up by Amerigo Gazaway, a Nashville DJ whose latest project is a soulfully wondrous marriage of the smooth sounds of Marvin Gaye and the melodic rapping of Yasiin Bey.

Maybe you could think about how great Last Week Tonight with John Oliver has been so far. Whether he’s railing against the hypocrisy and astronomically high level of corruption surrounding FIFA and the World Cup, the absurdity of Net Neutrality or the magical bullshit of Dr. Oz, Oliver has been on point so far.  Sure his show has similarities to The Daily Show, but Oliver benefits from not having to work around both commercial breaks and FCC restrictions on colorful language. This lets him spend fifteen minutes on something like the controversy surrounding the Washington Redskins’ name or the recent elections in India. The Daily Show does political satire drive bys. Last Week Tonight stops the car, hops out, and pummels you mercilessly. It’s great.

Speaking of the Redskins, they’re kind of a hot topic right now and something mildly interesting to think about. Now me personally, I’m of the belief that if a name of a team offends anyone, it should be changed. It’s the name of a sports team. Sports should bring people together. It’s meant to be communal. Kind of seems crazy to me that a team name would be driving people apart instead. Just change it. The Washington Warriors sounds just as good to me.

On a lighter note, think about how killer Tammy looks.

Or on a confusing note, what’s up with Mark Wahlberg’s career choices? There’s The Map and there’s whatever Whalberg is all over. It’s definitely not a map. There’s no way there is a map out there that draws a path between Ted, Lone Survivor and Transformers. I’m starting to think he’s just in it for the money.

While thinking about money, think about how great it’d be if Carmelo Anthony wasn’t thinking about money; was thinking about winning basketball games instead and joined the Chicago Bulls. That’d be an interesting team. I say there’s a 45% chance he doesn’t go back to the Knicks.

On that basketball tip, the NBA Finals were…actually kind of a buzzkill. I’m happy the Spurs won, I just wish the series was more competitive. Also, LeBron James is not leaving Miami. If he were to leave, and just today he opted out of his contract, which could easily mean nothing, I can’t see him going back to Cleveland. Whereas I could totally see Pat Riley framing Dwayne Wade for murder in the next few days, just so he can avoid having to pay him any longer. He might have Chris Bosh help just so he can have leverage over him and can convince him to play for less. LeBron is not coming back if Miami is stuck paying those two dudes over $40 million next year.

And while you could think all about those things and maybe even some more serious stuff like Iraq, World Cup protests in Brazil, the befuddling reemergence of Dick Cheney or more kidnappings in Nigeria, it’s going to be hard not to keep coming back to what lies ahead- America vs Germany. America needs to win or draw to feel good about themselves. A loss and they would be left to essentially rely on Portugal. And while it’s tempting to think that maybe the US and Germans came to some kind of mutually beneficial agreement, I can’t see that happening.

But who knows? It’s not like soccer is sketchy or anything.

Let’s go US!

Oh, and the photo at the top is from the blog Thumbs and Ammo. Kind of amusing to check out.





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1 reply


  1. Group Stage: Group D | GIDDY UP AMERICA

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