Based on an unofficial tally, there are roughly 582 rappers out there today whose name begins with “Lil’.” It’s true. You can look it up. I know this, because I just did. My friend Elyse said, “Hey Ryan, check out Lil’ Pump.” So I did, then fell down a Lil’ rabbit hole on Lil’ Spotify and ended up on Lil’ Internet, wondering how many rappers there are with names that start with “Lil.”

582.

In my research I learned that some rap historians, or rapstorians, believe the first rapper to go with Lil’ (Insert Name Here) as their rap name was Lil Troy. DJ Booth points out that “the Houston rapper famous for the single “Wanna Be Baller,” seems to be the first nationally recognized rapper to don the tag way back in 1988.” I don’t know that song and the only Troy I know is in New York. I know the movie Troy. It wasn’t that good.

Look…

Lil Uzi Vert
Lil Wayne
Lil Pump
Lil Yachty
Lil Xan
Lil Dicky
Lil Jon
Lil Durk
Lil Peep
Lil Kim
Lil Baby
Lil Bibby
Lil Reese
Lil Wyte
Lil Scrappy
Lil Mo
Lil Rob
Lil Pete
Lil Tracy
Lil Debbie
Lil Geniuz
Lil Snupe
Lil Phat
Lil Yee
Lil Blood
Lil Lonnie
Lil Cray
Lil Wop
Lil Boom
Lil Windex
Lil Deuce Deuce
Lil B Tha Grinda
Lil Ugly Mane
Lil B (x53)
Lil Dude

Okay, that’s enough.

Lil Dicky

What’s the point of this? There is no point. I just thought it was interesting.

Hold on, there’s some more.

Lil Trill
Lil Goofy
Lil GiGi
Lil Dred
Lil Suzy
Lil Toenail
Lil AJ
Lil Twist (did I get him already…checks…nope, just seems that way)
Lil Happy Lil Sad
Lil Bo Weep
Lil’ Flip
Lil Yung Pharaoh
Lil C
Lil Stitch
Lil Wicked
Lil Skeet

A couple more…

Lil Ronny Motha F
Lil Rick
Lil Mouse
Lil Rue
Lil Cobaine
Lil Raider
Lil Supa

Good Lord, there are still so many. We’ll just stop there.

If Lil Troy was the first rapper to go by Lil something back in 1988, then at what point does it become played out to have Lil in your name? Isn’t the point of a band name, or rapper name in this case, to stand out? If you just type in “Lil” into Spotify’s search box, all these names, all 538 582 names, show up. Lil Windex? That names going to stick out because that’s a dumb effin’ name.

Also, look at this dude.

I thought Lil Durk was Lil Dunkirk at least five times before convincing myself it wasn’t. Although let’s be honest, there very easily could be a Lil Dunkirk out there and their debut album is probably called Stranded or Raining Bombs, something super tacky.

Lil GiGi? Dude, my daughter calls my mom GiGi and she’s about as un-street as you can get. And you know what else? She’s not even the only GiGi I know. I know one other one. I also then kind of know that GiGi is a name you can go by if you’re a grandmother. Is Lil GiGi a grandmother? Who knows? But in 2013 a thirteen year old named Lil Poopy scored a record deal with Sony.

Lil Poopy. An hour ago that would have been surprising. Not anymore. You know, kind of like Lil Poopy’s career.

My Top 5 Lil Names:
Lil Twist
Lil Boom
Lil Yachty
Lil Deuce Deuce

There isn’t a fifth one.

What’s up with Lil Happy Lil Sad? At the very least, shouldn’t he have…wait, is it a he…maybe, I think he’s Swedish. But shouldn’t he have some grammar in his name?

Lil Happy, Lil Sad
Lil Happy? Lil Sad?
Lil Happy! Lil Sad.
Lil Happy…Lil Sad
Lil Happy/Lil Sad

I feel like I’m missing something with just Lil Happy Lil Sad. I’m Lil Confused. I’m Lil Bummed. Wait, I’m Lil Confused Lil Bummed.

Lil Goofy…Lil Skeet…and then there’s Lil Dude and I feel like that Lil Dude isn’t even trying. Lil Debbie is a female getting into the Lil act, not quite a trailblazer though because without doing any fact-checking here, Lil Kim was the first female rapper to go with Lil in her name.

Lil will never die out when it comes to nicknames and where there’s a neighborhood and a little kid…a Lil Dude if you will…there will be a Lil (Insert Name Here.) But in the rap game, hey rappers, don’t you think it’s time to maybe give the Lil moniker a break? There are so many of you, so, so, so many of you. You’re blending in when you should be blending out. What if you all just dropped the Lil from your name?

Uzi Vert
Wayne
Pump
Yachty
Xan
Dicky
Jon
Durk
Peep
Kim
Baby
Bibby
Reese
Wyte
Scrappy
Mo
Rob
Pete
Tracy
Debbie
Geniuz
Snupe
Phat
Yee
Blood
Lonnie
Cray
Wop
Boom
Windex
Deuce Deuce
B Tha Grinda
Ugly Mane
B
Dude

Okay, it doesn’t work for everyone. Lil Pete now just sounds like a guy named Pete and our boy Lil Windex now just sounds like your run-of-the-mill cleaning product. Maybe it works for 40% of the Lil-named rappers.

Let’s try some other adjectives.

Big Uzi Vert
Chilly Wayne
Tasty Pump
Smooth Yachty
Hot Xan
Salty Dicky
Spicy Jon
Giant Durk
Loud Peep
ShriekingKim
Dumb Baby
Tipsy Bibby
Wily Reese
Blank Wyte
Heavy Scrappy
Tasty Mo
Tasty Rob
Tasty Pete
Wacky Tracy
Debbie Snuggles
Hoarse Geniuz
Tipsy Snupe
Skinny Phat
Happy Yee
Chubby Blood
Indigo Lonnie
Smooth Cray
Flop Wop
Bumping Boom
Windex (nothing would make this one cool)
Tasty Deuce Deuce
Master B Tha Grinda
Mustard Ugly Mane
Only B
Tasty Dude

So, not bad. It’s a start.

It’s a Lil Start to employ the parlance of our times.

Just Google adjectives, there’s plenty to choose from. We can make these names pop y’all. We can do it, for each and everyone of you.

Well, except for Lil Windex.

You’re on your own.

Categories: Music

Tags: Music, rap names