When it all comes down to it, we were never really that close.

We didn’t know each other’s birthdays, didn’t know things like religions, political beliefs, favorite foods or preferred side of the bed. It wasn’t meant to last. It was a fling. It was passing.

In the end, it was time to go our separate ways.

The Walking Dead and I have called it quits. All that’s left is to get my book of CD’s and it’s final.

But Ryan, why?

Why? Well for starters, I’m over it.

That seems harsh.

Maybe. But it’s true. I realized this week that I fast forward through more of the show than I actually watch. That didn’t make sense to me. It made me wonder why I was watching it in the first place because it was becoming glaringly apparent that I really didn’t care about it anymore. I didn’t really care what was going to happen, wasn’t interested, wasn’t looking forward to finding out. It was starting to become obligation viewing- something I felt I had to do, as opposed to wanting to do. I just didn’t care anymore.

You didn’t care at all?

Nope. I don’t care about the story anymore. It’s played out and I think the writers are just milking it, trying to protect a lead. And I don’t care about any of the characters. Actually, I don’t even like any of the characters. If you were to ask me who my favorite character on The Walking Dead was, I’d take a few moments, then a few more, get distracted by thinking about something else, then circle back around to your question, think about it some more and then finally, after what seemed like an hour or for the sake of relevance’s sake, the amount of time it takes Rick to get out a few sentences of dialogue, finally I’d respond- pass.

Pass?

Yeah. Pass. Because I don’t have a favorite character on the show. It’s kind of the exact opposite of a show like Parks and Recreation, where I couldn’t tell you which character is my favorite because I love all of them. On The Walking Dead, I’m annoyed by characters more than I am entertained by them. And part of the reason is that really none of the characters have really been properly developed. What do we know about them? Look at Rick, the main character. What do we know about him? We know he was a cop, had a wife, has two kids, killed his best friend and when his hair gets long it kind of looks like a Jeri curl. That’s about it.

I’d say we know more than that.

Okay. We know he’s a shitty leader. And that’s when he wants to be- which is roughly fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent? He wants to be a passive observer. There is no in between with him. He’s also kind of a crap father.

But couldn’t you argue that him being a “crap father” is actually a by product of the challenges facing a father trying to raise a teenage son in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse?

You could. I would counter with yes, it would be a by product. It’d also be a good story line and one better suited for more talented actors. Talent is not something that the actors playing Rick and his son Carl really have going for them. They’re stiff and emotionless. And not in a good way.

No other characters interest you?

Not as currently constructed.

Currently constructed? So how could it be better constructed?

Flash backs. I want to see what these people were like before all the shit went down and the dead became zombies. I think it’d make the show infinitely more interesting. The Walking Dead gets repetitive, which is one of the main reasons why we’re breaking up. Shit’s cool, shit’s not. Shit’s cool, shit’s not. Wash and repeat and then look out for a zombie coming out from behind the tree or from out of that closet. It’s the same thing over and over again. For the most part, the main characters kill any strangers they come in contact with, so how would any new talent really be infused? Of the main group, the only relationship that has really developed or changed is Maggie and Glenn’s– because they’re married. Other than that, everyone is still miserable and alone. Even Lost incorporated love triangles and improbable couples. The Walking Dead would benefit from something like that. Instead of beating around the bush, have Daryl and Carol get together. Have Rick and Michonne hook up one night. Why the hell not? What do you have to lose?

So there’s no going back for you?

I’ll check in from time to time because I am interested in the premise of the show; in the idea of what life would be like in a post-zombie apocalypse world. It’s that idea that got me interested in the show in the first place and has kept me around this long. But I think that The Walking Dead is a show I can miss from time to time and jump back into pretty easily. And that’s what I think I’ll do.

So it’s not a clean break?

No it’s not a clean break. It’s just a break. There’s too much good television on right now to waste time with something you don’t fully care about.

Thanks for the memories, The Walking Dead. I enjoyed our time together.

See ya around.

Photos: AMC

Categories: Television

Tags: amc, the walking dead, walking dead