Let’s get one thing clear. Idris Elba’s character in The Dark Tower doesn’t kill with his gun. Yes, it looks like he kills with his gun. He even goes by the name The Gunslinger, which would at the very least imply some actual killing with a gun. But no, he doesn’t kill with his gun.
HE KILLS WITH HIS MIND MOTHER (EXPLETIVE DELETED!)
The first trailer for The Dark Tower, the adaption of Stephen King’s book that has been in the making for roughly the same amount of time it would take for you to travel to the moon and back, dropped Wednesday morning. Here is what we know…or here is what I know. You might know more. Good for you.
Stringer Bell a.k.a. Luther a.k.a Idris effin’ Elba plays The Gunslinger. He lives in a world that could be considered a close cousin of Mad Max’s world. It’s desolate and barren and dusty as hell and for all intents and purposes, mad bleak. In this world, The Gunslinger is fighting the Man in Black.
No, not this Man in Black…
Also not this Man in Black…
Or even this Man in Black…
Although to be fair, it does kind of seem like of any of these other Men in Black, the Man in Black in The Dark Tower, played by Matthew McConaughey, does kind of resemble the one from Lost, especially considering that he is locked in an eternal struggle with someone with the fate of the world at stake.
Yes, the world could end. Again.
The tower referenced in the title is a tower in a world inhabited by The Gunslinger and the Man in Black. If the tower comes tumbling down, not only does that world end, but our world ends. Twofer. And this is where Jake comes in. Who is Jake? Jake is a kid who has visions of this other world, talks to a shrink about them and draws them, hanging them on a wall like a Carrie Mathison cork board. Eventually Jake finds a house that looks like a house from one of his visions, goes inside, strolls into a portal of sorts and hello, what up Gunslinger. And now we have a buddy comedy. Kind of.
It’s only the first trailer and a lot is expected of The Dark Tower. Stephen King wrote eight books in his Dark Tower series and apparently the movie is less of a adaptation of them and more of a sequel. So there will be some blanks needed to be filled in. But hey, if anyone is going to fill in blanks, we could definitely do a lot worse than Elba. Well, unless his breaks out in song.
Even then, it wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to us this summer.
That would be an unfortunate sunburn obviously.
The Dark Tower is set to be released on August 4.
Categories: Movies, summer 2017
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