I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to Monday night’s finale of The Bachelor. I really don’t. I’d like to talk about Peru. Peru looks fantastic. I would love to share my findings about the origins of Machu Picchu because yes, I totally Googled Machu Picchu and I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit it. You probably did too. How many of us really know anything about Machu Picchu and if we do know something, how many of us just know that it’s “like the Incas or something?” Now is not the time to split hairs about our Machu Picchu knowledge, though. We have a train wreck of a raging dumpster fire to unpack and the fire is still spitting out embers.
Let us begin with facts and let’s start with a simple question. Why the hell did Arie stick around so long after dumping Becca? He just…stayed there. He didn’t really say anything. He didn’t try and comfort her. He didn’t really do a damn thing except loiter. That’s it. He was loitering. Loitering is what teenagers do when they have no place else to go. Arie had somewhere else to go.
Dallas Virginia. To Lauren’s. But instead, he just stayed there and lingered. Why? Well, probably because there were cameras there and he was desperately trying to come off as a good guy. The problem is Arie, a real good guy, a good guy who is legitimately a good guy, wouldn’t A) bail on his fiancee because he’s hung up on his ex and B) if he did, would realize that when he did broach the subject of the aforementioned bailing with said fiancee, it would not be the time for a lengthy conversation about it. At best it would come later, but in reality it wouldn’t come at all.
And he just stayed there. She walked away. He walked away. Then he returned. And returned. And returned again. He just wouldn’t leave when leaving was the only possible move he had to make.
To make matters worse, Arie kept saying he wanted to talk more, but then he didn’t say anything. It’s like he kept wanting her to say it was okay, like he was looking for permission to dip out on this apparently ill-conceived engagement and attempt to rekindle his relationship with Lauren, who he has continued to think about and even talk to since they broke up. In his mind, why wouldn’t Becca be cool with this, why wouldn’t she understand it? She knows that he’s been thinking about Lauren and that he’s been talking to her. She knows he’s been struggling with this. All that was missing was him saying something along the lines of if you really cared about me, you would know this is something I have to do.
“Are you f*cking kidding me?” is right, Becca.
Editor’s Note: Becca’s use of the F bomb has been top notch this season. She drops one perfectly and does so in a way that only makes her that much more endearing.
Is there any doubt that Arie picked Becca because he flipped a coin, said Lauren was heads and Becca was tails and then didn’t catch the coin and it rolled under the bed and he made a half-hearted attempt to get the coin, but not really that much of an attempt, then decided it was probably tails because Arie is a weak dude and in his mind Becca was the easy play because Lauren required constant reassurance of his love for her and ugh, that’s like work. And come on, we all can safely assume how Arie feels about work.
Arie was delusional in some many ways, but perhaps he was most delusional in his insistence that he stick around, that his presence was somehow still needed after it was definitely not needed. He should have left. We all feel like he should have left, which is why we all kept yelling at the television for him to do so. God, it was like watching the all-white version of Get Out no one has asked for.
The reality was that he needed to do something that is hard to do (which he never would have done) and he should have just ripped the band aid right off. Don’t beat around the bush and make small talk about Becca’s new tattoo. Just roll into that sterile-looking AirBnB and confirm that lingering fear that had likely been residing in the back of Becca’s head since day one of their engagement and made noise every time he brought up that he was still wrestling with his feelings for Lauren and he got a text message, but was shady in reading it and was spotted outside the grocery store, talking on a payphone like he was an extra on The Americans.
His game plan should have been pretty straight forward and pretty simple. Drop the bomb, offer up a consolation hug or at least a handshake and then peace out. Instead he pulled the band aid off in the slowest and worst way possible, all with cameras rolling.
I think he be a psychopath or something. I’ve already speculated that he could be a murderer. That remains unconfirmed, but the psychopath part was pretty much certified Monday night. There really are few logical explanations for what went down.
He just wouldn’t leave! He just stayed. I’m sorry, but I can’t get past that. It became disturbing. And it was disturbing on multiple levels. On Level One, It made him look like a soulless robot devoid of human emotions, while up on Level Two it started to feel like he was being encouraged to stay by a producer. That’s just not cool. What went down with Becca definitely bordered on exploitation and numerous Bachelor Nation vets chimed in on this on Twitter.
Becca signed up for a litany of questionable things when she elected to go on The Bachelor, but I can’t imagine she signed up to be brutally blind-sided and for that despicable act to be filmed and then broadcasted UNEDITED BECAUSE THE EMOTIONS WERE SO RAW. Shut up, Chris Harrison. This shit got real and we all know that for the most part, The Bachelor is not real. They don’t peddle real emotions so don’t start now. They did Becca dirty. Plain and simple. She didn’t deserve that and no matter how loyal Bachelor Nation might be, we didn’t “deserve” that either. An US Weekly story would have been fine.
Arie had a change of heart. Okay. It happens; not totally surprising. Arie picking Becca was actually more surprising than him admitting he was still hung up on Lauren. But I just…man, he really need to leave. Say what needed to be said and then bolt. If you’re worried about public perception, that ship has sailed. People have been out on Arie since his name wasn’t Peter. There was no face to be saved.
He should have left.
The cameras should have left.
We didn’t need to see that. No one did. And now we’ll be back Tuesday night to watch Becca confront Arie and for Lauren to be there and man, if Lauren takes Arie back Twitter might not be around Wednesday morning. Our president isn’t going to know what to do with himself.
If we’re going to try and end on a positive note though, it’s this. Arie tried to look like a good dude, to somehow come out of this whole shebang a winner. Instead, the opposite happened and he managed to walk away from this fart duster of a season looking even worse than anyone could have imagined. While at the same time, Becca, most commonly referred to as the Becca who is not 22 or the normal Becca, came out a big time winner. Yes, her heart was broken, but that will heal. And thankfully, she has all of Bachelor Nation at the ready to help her out.