Today is Cyber Monday. Today is the day you fully realize just how many businesses, websites and stores have your email address because they’ve been bombarding your poor, defenseless inbox since the turkey came out of the oven on Thursday. Deals, dude. Deals on televisions, deals on clothes, deals on toys. Deals, deals, deals. And as a bonus, you are very likely to be able to cash in on all of these glorious deals without the threat of injury or stampeding.
So that’s cool.
While we’re talking about deals, let’s talk about deals. Let’s talk about deals that exist all year long, not just on Cyber Monday.
A sweet deal is anytime you can buy one of something and get a second one of that something for free. That’s a sweet deal. Buy one box of Life, get a second box free and grocery store, you’ve made my day. Same could said for Gatorades. Buy one Gatorade, get a second Gatorade free and I’m walking out of there with not one, but two Glacier Freezes.
On that note, a sweet deal is two Gatorades for $3. That one will get me every single time. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
A universally sweet deal that is especially applicable on Cyber Monday is free shipping. Any time free shipping is involved then there is a direct correlation to me ordering from the site offering free shipping. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t offer free shipping. I know that they are then hoofing the bill for the shipping, but I would imagine they’d get more business overall by dangling that carrot of free shipping. But then again, I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.
An old school deal that I was always a fan of was at Blockbuster (RIP) or Hollywood Video (RIP.) If I had $20 in my pocket and was in the general vicinity of either one of those stores then there was a damn good chance I was going to poke my head in and check out there four used DVDs for $20 bin. Why? Because that’s a sweet deal. Of course I know have a box of used DVDs I never watch anymore in my garage but that’s besides the point. The key draw of deals is that they exist perfectly within the moment. You’re not thinking about anything besides that moment when a deal is involved and that is a scientific fact.
While not specifically a deal, Dollar Shave Club is most definitely a deal. Dude, it’s like $8 a month for four razor blades and you want to know something about razor blades? Razor blades are universally at least $15 for four blades in stores. Why so much? No one knows. But it doesn’t matter what store you go to, razor blades are the same price and that price is more than it reasonably should be. So with that being said – Dollar Shave Club offering up razor blades at the price they are offering them and they deliver them is a sweet deal.
Sweet Deal Lightning Round
A two point conversion in football
Free Ice Cream Day at Ben & Jerry’s in 1998
Five plain white t-shirts for the price of four
Boston’s greatest hits album on i-Tunes for $5
Free on-street parking on weekends
Adopting a rescue dog
A college basketball game that goes into triple overtime
Dollar Dog Night at Phillies’ games in 2008
A free long sleeve shirt
Free previews of premium channels
And finally, the best deal of them all? That’s easy.
Yeah, that’s right. Tom effin’ Brady, who was the 199th pick of the 2000 draft.
Now, back to shopping.