The Questions Still Left Unanswered

By Ryan O'Connell on 01/30/2014 • ( 0 )

It’s been a couple days now since the 2014 Grammy Awards and the dust has effectively settled on another celebration of the music industry>public lambasting of the celebration of the music industry that is the Grammy Awards.

From this safe distance from the paint-splattering, back-patting and stammering acceptance speech-filled carnage of Sundays’ show, some questions still have yet to be answered.

Question number 1…

Why was Metallica there and more importantly, why was Metallica there playing a song that was released in 1989?

Possible answer…

There is no possible answer to this one because there seems to be no legitimate reason why Metallica was there. Were they honoring Lou Reed? If that was the case, shouldn’t they have them played a Reed song? Were they nominated for anything? I don’t think so, although in all fairness, I think any winners in rock categories were announced last Thursday from a dusty hotel in the outskirts of Hollywood by Nikki Sixx, so it’d be hard to know.

Question number 2…

For someone who allegedly exercises as much as she does, why does Madonna look so frail and fragile?

Possible answer…

Like a lot of gym rats, she only focuses on the glamor muscles.

Question number 3…

Were those couples married during the Macklemore & Ryan Lewis performance actually married? And if so, when did Queen Latifah become an ordained minister?

Possible Answer…

From the website, US Marriage Laws:

California Family Code, Section 400 states the persons authorized to solemnize marriage ceremonies in California are as follows:

A priest, minister, or rabbi of any religious denomination.

A judge or retired judge, commissioner of civil marriages or retired commissioner of civil marriages, commissioner or retired commissioner, or assistant commissioner of a court of record in this state.

A judge or magistrate who has resigned from office.

Any of the following judges or magistrates of the United States.

A justice or retired justice of the United States Supreme Court.

A judge or retired judge of a court of appeals, a district court, or a court created by an act of Congress the judges of which are entitled to hold office during good behavior.

A judge or retired judge of a bankruptcy court or a tax court.

A United States magistrate or retired magistrate.

A legislator or constitutional officer of this state or a member of Congress who represents a district within this state, while that person holds office.

But with that being said, we still don’t know if what Queen Latifah “performed” was a legitimate wedding ceremony because I don’t see “former rapper turned actress/talk show host” on this list.

Question number 4…

And speaking of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, why is it so hip to hate on them so much now? It’s not their fault they won all those awards and stole rap music away from the African American community (allegedly.) I don’t think any of this should take away from the reality that The Heist is a fairly okay album with some super catchy songs.

Possible answer…

This one is simple. Haters gonna hate, son.

Question number 5…

Is Imagine Dragons good?

Possible answer…

You have to ask this because you have most likely had their song, “Radioactive” stuck in your head since Sunday, a song that until Sunday you most likely thought was meh at best. So let’s get this out there- Imagine Dragons are still not that good of a band. What is good about them was their performance on Sunday with Kendrick Lamar and to a lesser extent, the remix of “Radioactive” featuring Kendrick that they released shortly after their performance.