Paint the Grammys Red

Kendrick Lamar, Dan ReynoldsAt some point in the last couple of years, the brain trust behind the Grammys decided to do what so many other award shows have failed to do- adapt and play to their audience. The Oscars don’t do it and continue to shove weird tributes to themselves down our throat, the Emmys give Jeff Daniels an award over Bryan Cranston and Jon Hamm for some reason and the Golden Globes keep forgetting they’re the “fun award show.” The Grammys however, they realized that a show honoring the best* in music should do so by actions, not words.

What a novel concept.

But what a smart concept.

Grammy performances have become infinitely more interesting that the other major award shows combined. The recipe is simple: High production value + inspired collaborations = wildly interesting television. And in between that- sprinkled “intimate” performances on a small round stage in the middle of the crowd featuring someone tearing at our heart strings on a piano. The same piano? I wondered that. Then I didn’t. Then I did again. Then I just decided it must be two pianos and moved on.

And that’s what we do today- we move on. We move on debating whether or not Macklemore and Ryan Lewis should have beaten Kendrick Lamar for Best Rap album, why no rock bands with a collective age under 100 were not nominated and finally and what is a more important question to the 30 or so couples married last night- is Queen Latifah an ordained minister?

To check out video of performances from last night, I’d recommend Mr. World Premiere’s site. But I’d act fast. We’re about five hours away from any video evidence of last night’s Grammys being swept and redacted from the Internet.

Here are Giddy Up America’s Top 5 Moments from the 2014 Grammy Awards

5. Netw3rk’s Twitter Feed

Netw3rk (real name: Jason Concepcion) is a writer for Grantland, Buzzfeed, GQ, Deadspin and more. Of all the people on Twitter commentating the Grammy Awards (and there were a shit ton,) he was easily the best. It all started with this tweet during Hunter Hayes’ performance:

And then this:

And this:

Really just do yourself favor and check out his whole feed. Quality stuff.

4. “Cut Me Some Slack” Wins Best Rock Song

This is a good song. It’s a good rock song and anytime Dave Grohl is allowed to speak at an awards show, we’re all better off for it. I was kind of hoping they’d play this song live, because that’s where it deserves to live.


But can we talk about this category for a second? The Rolling Stones…Black Sabbath…a shitty Muse song. Not saying very much about the current state of rock music when the other nominee, Gary Clark Jr., is the only nominee under thirty years old.

3. “Get Lucky” Live

Loved this performance, especially with the inclusion of Stevie Wonder. I’m calling shenanigans on Daft Punk’s button pushing, though. They looked like they were flying a space ship in a low budget, 70’s space movie and may have actually tried to send the ship into hyper space once or twice.

2. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

I had goose bumps from the start of the duo’s performance of “Same Love” until the very end, even though there was a brief intermission when Madonna came out looking like a Las Vegas Rodeo Pimp. Sure it was kind of cheesy having all those couples get married, but it was ultimately beautiful and watching Macklemore rap “Same Love” is mesmerizing. The only way this performance could have been better if they busted into “Can’t Hold Us” at the end. But no real complaints with this one.

1. Kendrick Lamar & Imagine Dragons

For all the credit the Grammy Awards get for the collaborations they put together, something that gets lost is inspiration- meaning a truly inspired performance. That’s what Kendrick and Imagine Dragons delivered, a balls out, we have something to prove inspired performance. I had just laid my head down when it started, but less than a minute in I was on the edge of the couch, stomping my feet and completely enthralled with what I was watching. Pairing together two upstart acts like those two should become a staple for years to come. The Grammy Awards can feel plastic at time, a little too staged and polished. Kendrick and Imagine Dragons exploded right through the shiny veneer of the Grammy Awards and it was awesome.


Honorable Mention…

Pharrell’s hat. The Urban Sombrero must have been sold out.

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Daft Punk’s commitment to that whole robot thing is admirable. Are the masks hot? I bet they are. Those dudes are also very skinny. If they exercise by bike-riding, do they were the robot helmets when doing so? You know, instead of the noticeably less cooler bike helmet?

Country Western Night at the Grammys was fun, although I’m pretty sure Kris Kristofferson’s guitar wasn’t plugged in. Blake Shelton might have had a boner the whole time too. Both unconfirmed theories.

Gary Clark Jr rocked his verse and solo during Keith Urban’s performance. Before that, the main thing to talk about during the performance was how Urban cops hair styling tips from the middle school boys in his neighborhood.

I don’t think I’m going out on limb when I say that the idea of drinking red wine with Carol King sounds like a great way to spend an afternoon.

Ultimately we all wish we had the kind of marriage Jay Z and Beyonce have.

Katy Perry can do anything she wants. Anything.

And finally, I’m still not sure what to make of this…

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But oh well.

Good night.

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