Game of Thrones made it a little easier for everyone this week. This week’s episode, “Second Sons,” focused on half of show’s total story lines. I’m at odds with myself as to whether or not I liked this style better than last week’s episode, “The Bear and Maiden Fair,” which essentially did the exact opposite as “Second Sons,” giving us a pop-in on nearly every GOT character we’ve ever met. I think I’m leaning towards fewer plot lines per episodes. It gives the plots more time to breath.

Either way, I thought that “Second Sons” goes right up there with season one’s “Baelor” and season two’s “Blackwater” as one of the show’s strongest episodes.

Giddy Up America’s Game of Thrones’ Plot Lines Power Rankings: Week 7

1. As King’s Landing Turns (now including Tyrion’s Second Act and A Stark in King’s Landing: Sansa)

I went to a wedding this weekend. It was delightful. Not even a little rain could ruin what was a truly radical evening. Recently married myself, it made me think back to my wedding. Weddings are so beautiful, so much fun. I’m a big fan of the couple that got married and it brought a smile to my face seeing them be so happy.

Now I’m also big fans of Tyrion and Sansa as a couple, but that’s it where the similarities between their wedding and Mike & Sarah’s wedding abruptly end.

When things got started, I thought for a second it was funeral or just another wildly uncomfortable Lannister family dinner. Nope. Instead it was the incredibly awkward wedding of Tyrion and Sansa. But rest assured, it featured all the things we’ve come to expect from the Lannisters, Westeros’ version of the Kardashians: Joffrey being a douche, Cersei being her usual bitter & vitriolic self and Worst Father in the World (Real or Fake) Tywin presiding over all of it. And through all of it, the Tyrells sat on the sidelines, having been recently emasculated by a Lannister power play. Part of that power play is Sir Loras marrying Cersei, something I thought might not happen as I was half expecting Cersei to shove Loras out the window while he was feebly attempting small talk. I was actually more surprised she didn’t push him out the window. I was also a little surprised Loras didn’t jump. Homeboy doesn’t seem to be taking this all too well.

But in the end and after some playful threatening of his nephew’s life, Tyrion once again proved to us all that when it comes down to it, he’s a good dude. Really, of all the suitors Sansa has had lined up for her, he’s probably the best.

One day she might realize that.

2. Daenerys & Her Dragons

So my first question- was Keanu Reeves not available to play the role of Darrio Naharis, Daenerys’ newest member of her entourage? That dude is a total dude. I don’t know what to make of him. For some reason, Game of Thrones has made me unable to trust any new character we are introduced too. Shit man, I still don’t even fully trust Ygritte.

Although I’m glad Darrio’s buddy is gone- the dude with the scar. The writers probably are as well. They used nearly every cliched line of dialogue for him in the two scenes he was in.

Poor Sir Jorah. First he’s got Grampa Selmy tagging along, now this young buck hanging out as well. Some quality time with his Khaleesi is going to be hard to come by. In terms of cock-blocking abilities, an old man is just an annoyance. But a fiery young stud? That’s an effin’ deal breaker.

I imagine Jorah sitting alone, looking all sad by the fire, lamenting what could have been. He’s probably only a day or two from having himself a Ron Swanson moment:

Stay strong, Sir Jorah. Stay strong.

5. Stannis “The B Stand for Plan B” Baratheon

Last week: Theon gets seduced, ends up getting his wanger lopped off.

This week: Gendry get seduced, ends up getting accosted by blood-sucking leeches.

The Moral of the Story: Sign a disclaimer or something before getting seduced, gents. You’ll be glad that you did.

I’m happy to see Davos back in action. I’m also happy to see him progressing in his quest to learn how to read. If I were him I’d be learning how to read Melissandre’s lease at Dragonstone*. Might want to see if there’s a clause in there that can have her evicted if she keeps up this crazy shit.

*I assume she has one. Stannis, while definitely buying into this whole Lord of Light thing, still seems like a practical man. And practical men don’t let people crash at their crib rent free.

6. The Night’s Watch Sam & Gilly’s Adventures Beyond the Wall

They might not be Westeros’ favorite couple, but they’re definitely in the running for most adorable. Look at them, going camping and talking about baby names. Adorable. She starts a fire for him because he can’t. Adorable. He kills a White Walker for her. Adorable. We’re an episode or two away from them starting a band and wearing matching sweaters with cats on them.

On to the White Walker for a minute- THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW IS ABOUT! I feel it in my bones. This whole show started with the White Walkers and season two, a season about everything except the White Walkers, ended with the White Walkers headed south. Just when you’ve forgotten about them, they remind you that they’re out there. I think we have another season of civil war in Westeros before this turns into an Us against Them situation, where the people of Westeros are forced to push aside their differences (all 3,457 of them) and unite to defeat the White Walkers. Or at least take on the White Walkers. Who knows how many dragon knives there are out there.

7. A Stark in the Woods- Part One: Arya

It looks finally, after her adventures in the woods, at Harrenhaul, in the caves with the Brotherhood Without Banners, Arya might finally be reunited her family. I’ll still believe it when I see it, but it definitely looks promising.

And the Hound? Is he a good guy now? It’s been a slower and more downplayed turn that Jaime’s, but the Hound going from bad to good is certainly the second most surprising character turn on the show.

Is he really good, though? Game of Thrones really messes with the ideas of good & bad. The Hound is essentially a good guy now because he doesn’t care anymore, he just wants that paper, yo. It seems like the characters in GOT who are truly good are the ones who are truly honest. At least we know their intentions.

Everyone Else

Everyone else (Jon & Ygritte, Robb Stark, Theon, Brienne & Jaime) were all on the bench this week. Only two episodes of this season are left. While I don’t think we’ll have anything like a major character dying or a massive battle like the Battle of Blackwater to close out the season, I do think that things we’ll continue to ratchet up and this season will end with a major cliff hanger.

Photos: HBO

Categories: Game of Thrones, Power Rankings, Television

Tags: a lannister always pays their debts, dragonstone, Game of Thrones, game of thrones plot line power rankings, HBO, kings landing, loras, mother of dragons, plot lines, power rankings, the most adorable couple in Westeros, the night is dark and full of terrors, The Sad Ballad of Sir Jorah, tyrells, white walkers