Before getting into this week’s power rankings, I want to bring up something my Darling Wife brought to the table last night after watching “The Bear and the Maiden Fair.” One of the reasons the main credits of Game of Thrones are so great is because they’re also informative. They show the locations where most of our characters are and where the most of that episode’s action is going to take place. It’s a total bonus and a total champ move by the show’s producers. They know we have a lot going on when it comes to keeping track of everything, so they’re helping us out a little bit. It’s appreciated.
But now I think it’s time to take a step forward and Kim knows how. Kim used the example of Harry Potter and the Cloak of Invisibility. When someone had the cloak on, markers would show up on screen to track their movements. Another example is when the Muppets travel by map…
Game of Thrones needs to add something like this because there’s a lot of traveling in the show now and frankly, we could use some help keeping track of where people like Arya, the Night’s Watch, etc are. Doing something like they did with Harry Potter or the Muppets would be incredibly helpful.
Just throwing that out there.
On to the power rankings!
Giddy Up America’s Game of Thrones’ Plot Lines Power Rankings: Week 6
1. Daenerys & Her Dragons
Daenerys took last week off but she’s back in full force this week and she’s looking to free more slaves. Danys is kind of like the Abraham Lincoln of Game of Thrones. I think it’s become a fun twist to have her add “free all the slaves” to her to-do list. This week she’s at Yunkai’s gates and looking to go all Astapor on them. A representative from the city tries to buy her off with ships and gold, but Danys and her dragons are having none of it. Is there any question as to whether or not Danys is the one person we’re all rooting for on Game of Thrones? The verdict is still out on whether or not Jaime has really turned a corner or not, Robb Stark never leaves his tent anymore and Jon Snow has both us and himself confused about what his plan is. In season one Ned Stark was the hero and in season two it was Tyrion. I think that season three belongs to Daenerys.
2. The Odd Couple- Brienne & Jaime
Right off the bat, I know I’m not the only one who thought about this when Jaime jumped in the pit to save Brienne from the bear:
And now that that’s out of the way, let’s give it up for Jaime. I’m only one or two episodes away from forgiving him for pushing Bran out the window, especially because Bran’s story line is becoming one of the more annoying and aggravating plot lines of the season.
Just thought about this- if Jaime makes it back to King’s Landing soon, does Tywin change his mind and have Jaime marry Sansa instead of Tyrion?
Jaime is a clear front runner for the Comeback Player of the Year Award. I don’t even know who his competition is.
3. As King’s Landing Turns (now including Tyrion’s Second Act and A Stark in King’s Landing: Sansa)
Three thoughts about this week’s happenings in sunny King’s Landing:
1. Loved the scene between Tywin and Joffrey for a variety of reasons, but largely because it provided us with a glimpse of what conversations between Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were like.
2. More Tyrion and Bronn please!
3. Finally! Sansa admits she’s stupid. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
4. Jon Snow’s Adventures Beyond the Wall
I’m confused about where exactly Jon Snow, Ygritte and the rest of Mance Rayder’s army are. They climbed the wall. Did they climb down the other side and are now like, east of Castle Black? I’m assuming Castle Black is on the southern side of the wall and as a result, can only be attacked from the south. Right? So yeah, they probably climbed a part of the wall not all that close to Castle Black, then climbed down the other side and are now hiking their ways towards the castle to attack it. Really, Travel by Map would be so beneficial for this show.
We definitely learned a couple things this week and one of which was that Ygritte takes her relationships very seriously. Oh and we also learned Gareth from The Office is a total douche.
What exactly is Jon’s plan? Is he still loyal to the Night’s Watch or has his new relationship with Ygritte changed things? And Gareth from The Office told Ygritte that she might not think Jon’s all that great once she learns the truth about him. What does that mean? I think it’s either something about Jon’s mother or Gareth from The Office knows something we don’t about Jon’s plan. Part of me wishes Jon Snow would go truly emo and have a little confessional in the woods somewhere where he could enlighten us as to what exactly his plan is. And when they do attack Castle Black, is it going to be a Point Break situation or is Jon going to go all in with his new buddies?
Jon Snow, I have a lot of questions for you buddy. And none of them is what’s a wind mill.
5. Stannis “The B Stand for Plan B” Baratheon
Looks like Gendry had himself a King Ralph moment.
6. A Stark in the Woods- Part One: Arya
Looks like Arya had herself a Gob Bluth moment.
Escape one hostage situation for potentially another one. Come on indeed.
The King of the North’s Honeymoon Good Times in Robb Stark’s Tent
Robb Stark, King of the North and Foe of Tywin Lannister > Robb Stark, tent-dwelling pillow talker
8. A Stark in the Woods- Part Two: Bran & Rickon
Hodor indeed. I feel like I’m watching an episode of Lost featuring only The Others when we get Bran & Rickon scenes now. They’re confusing and frustrating. I can’t remember their new friends’ name, but dude, if you know something, THEN SAY IT! You know that dude everyone likes because he keeps secrets or says things like “I know, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you yet?” Oh you don’t. Me neither. That’s because that person doesn’t exist. On the BS Report last week, Bill Simmons and Andy Greenwald were talking about this and had the idea for a Bran & Rickon spin off, like Muppet Babies. I fully support this.
This plot line is another example of where Travel by Map would be useful. Where the hell are these guys? It seems like a decent amount of time has passed since last season ended, but they don’t appear to be any closer to the Wall than they were a few weeks ago.
The Night’s Watch Sam & Gilly’s Adventures Beyond the Wall
Off line this week. Probably cuddling. Adorable.
10. So…who’s torturing Theon?
For crying out loud, this just isn’t fair anymore. Not to Theon and not to us. Can’t we all agree to just move on from this? Please. Pretty please.
Oh and blue balls and then your wanger gets cut off has to be at least in the top three of Worst Torture Scenarios.