Some Filibuster Filifiller

A thirteen hour filibuster is one thing, filibuster filler is another. We pick somethings we’d kill some time with if we were talking for thirteen straight hours.

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This is not news: Kentucky Senator Rand Paul went old school yesterday in Washington. Paul spoke for thirteen hours straight while conducting a filibuster of President Obama’s nomination of John Brennan for head of the C.I.A. The filibuster was less about Brennan and much more about President Obama’s use of drones on U.S. soil.

Thirteen hours.

I have no idea how someone could even talk for that long. Paul’s filibuster lasted as long as he had the floor. He got help in doing this by fellow senators- Senator Ted Cruz read some tweets aloud, Senator Marco Rubio quoted Wiz Khalifa and some other senators asked Paul some nice, long-winded, open-ended questions. The filibuster finally ended when Paul simply couldn’t hold it anymore. And by “it,” I mean urine. Yes, politics are gross.

But again, thirteen hours. Do you realize how long that is? That’s essentially a season of Homeland.

Now I’m a realist, I realize that there is probably no way I could speak for thirteen hours straight. But if I had too, you bet you ass there would be some filler in there- such as…

Taylor Swift, the constant victim. Listen honey, I don’t care who you date and I don’t even really care for your music. I’m not sure what the future holds for you unless you start dancing, go more country or get more angst, but I am sure about this- you need to chill out and learn how to take a joke.

I do love a good run of Yankees’ injuries.

Is Jennifer Lawrence dating anyone yet?

These chefs on cooking shows can be so stupid. Let’s be real- if you elect to leave something to the last minute because it doesn’t take long to cook then guess what, you’re totally going to under cook it and go home. Not even a question.

I wonder if the producers of The Daily Show considered anyone besides in house candidates to fill in for Jon Stewart during his hiatus? I have no problem with Jon Oliver. He’s fine. More curious than anything.

Howard Stern should stick to radio and not worry about television. I can’t see him being a good late night host.

Am I the only who confuses Kendrick Lamar and A.S.A.P. Rocky?

Dimitri says the ukelele is pretty easy to learn how to play so I’m going to give it a shot. It’ll add an interesting new element to my band- Me & My Drums.

At some point during my filibuster, I’d play this clip…

 

Did you see that Mila Kunis interview? Can we pass a bill to get some sort of buddy comedy with her Jennifer Lawrence together?

The new Local Natives’ album is growing on me more and more each day.

Screw you Spotify. I’m a Rdio man, now.

I’m starting to get the feeling Wes Welker doesn’t re-sign with the Patriots. It’s not a good feeling.

Red Sox are going to finish third and just snag the second Wild Card. I also think the Indians will be sneaky good and the World Series will be the Rays versus the Braves.

Then when it was time to quit, I’d go classy and end it like this…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. […] my Greatest HBO Character Ever tournament. Spoiler: Omar from The Wire won. In D.C., Rand Paul gave a pretty epic Filibuster about something to prevent something and I started watching The Walking Dead. Those two things are […]

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