It’s going to snow, kids!
Well, maybe. Reports as of Thursday afternoon are a little scattered if you will. For instance, I look at AccuWeather and it says we’ll either get one to three inches or at least a foot. Middle ground? There is no middle ground. This storm, Winter Storm Kenan, is as divided as our gosh darn political system in this country, am I right?
But yes, Winter Storm Kenan. It could be a doozy. If there weren’t more pressing matters right now like Joe Rogan explaining what constitutes a black person, the NFL playoffs, and *checks notes* oh God, another Kanye album, Kenan would be all people here on the Eastern Seaboard could talk about. Instead, it’s just kind of out there, milling about, biding its time until we have a moment to give it some attention.
I’d say give it a few more hours. Once things become a little bit more clear and if it seems that a storm, a “bomb cyclone,” is indeed imminent, you know what’s going to start happening.
How much snow are we supposed to get? When is the snow supposed to start? Will it be wet snow or nice, pillowy soft snow? No really, how much snow are we supposed to get?
It’s going to snow. We get it. It’s probably going to snow a lot. You’re going to be hunkered down for the foreseeable future with nothing but your wits, Netflix, and Oreos to get you through. On the plus side, for at least a day or two, trying to hide from COVID shouldn’t be a concern. So there’s that, right? Plus there are new episodes of Ozark to watch and if you skipped Station Eleven, now is your chance to right that massive wrong.
I think we should turn our attention to something else if you ask me. We should spend our last few snow-free hours talking about something other than the incoming snowstorm because endless snow talk just becomes kind of a bummer. It’s like rehashing the final season of Game of Thrones. What’s the point, right? It was a bummer. Done and done. Watch the first few seasons. They were the best. Season three was the show’s high watermark.
But whatever, no snow talk. I say that instead of talking about snow as in weather, let’s talk about snow as in Snow, the Canadian reggae/rapper. You know, the guy who sang “Informer.”