Right now in this country of ours, things are a little bit tumultuous. You know, like a little bit sketchy, a little bit shaky, a little bit country and a whole lot of rock ‘n roll. In short, things are fucking bananas. There’s an election coming up that could very well last for weeks and a pandemic that could last forever because Jesus Christ, it already feels like it has. There are protests in Philly because cops killed another black man, the Supreme Court has become a complete shit show, the Patriots are terrible, my fantasy football team is a mess and you know, the list goes on and on and on.
At least we have the new Borat movie and a second season of The Mandalorian, but beyond that, shit’s dire, friends.
On top of everything, this weekend is (expletive deleted) Daylight Savings Time. Starting on Sunday it’s going to be getting darker earlier, which is just great. Because sure, let’s cut down on the number of daylight hours and give us more darkness and let’s get that darkness started earlier. Nothing brightens the spirit more than the descending of darkness.
I would like to think I speak for most people when I say “not now, Daylight Savings Time! Not now!”
In any other situation or any other time, Daylight Savings Time is a wrecking ball. It always comes at a bad time, it messes everyone up and is a not-so-subtle reminder that another long winter is upon us. There is literally nothing good about Daylight Savings Time. I once showed up an hour late for a date thanks to Daylight Savings Time. It was very confusing and disheartening and could have totally be avoided if this ridiculous clusterfuck known as Daylight Savings Time didn’t exist.
I know this is something that’s been talked about for years, but maybe, just maybe this is the year we finally rid ourselves of Daylight Savings Time. And I mention that it’s been talked about for years because yeah, it has. Gripes and complaints about Daylight Savings Time are as old as Daylight Savings Time itself.
I looked up Daylight Savings Time on Wikipedia and beyond the history of it, which includes everything and everyone from Ben Franklin to a New Zealand entomologist named George Hudson and agrarian life to more time to play golf, there’s a good chunk in there about people complaining about it. And you know why? Because it’s madness.
Well no, it’s not complete madness. That’s true. It’s lighter earlier, which I suppose is cool if you’re up and moving at that time of day. But I’d venture to guess that only a fraction of the population actually do need to wake up early enough to reap the benefits of it getting lighter earlier in the fall. However, damn near everyone is up and moving in the early evening hours. Because of that, a lot more people are affected by it getting darker earlier than getting lighter earlier. It’s a numbers game plain and simple. More folks are experiencing the negative effects than are benefiting from the positive ones. That’s some unbalanced bullshit right there. At least when we do this nonsense in the spring, it’s lighter later in the day, something everyone can enjoy. That at least makes some sense.
Plus, let’s be honest with ourselves here. No one needs it getting darker earlier right now. No one! Everyone is miserable these days. They’re stressed out and super bummed. People need a win and not having to deal with Daylight Savings Time would be a hell of a win. God! Such a win! I don’t want to give a politician (especially one I don’t support) any ideas, but proposing to abolish DST could be the boost a struggling campaign might need in the last few days of the 2020 campaign. Either that or you suggest getting rid of ATM fees. It’s up to you but again, if someone from Lindsay Graham or Susan Collins’ campaign is reading this, this is a terrible idea and definitely don’t it. Keeping being the worst, it’s going great.
There is also a very real and serious reason why this is the year to skip out on Daylight Savings Time. I don’t suffer from seasonal depression, but there are plenty of people that do and this is the time of year when that starts to kick into high gear. And then there’s pandemic depression, which has become a very real thing. Pandemic depression is also ramping up because it turns out that when the government has done jack to stop the spread of a serious and deadly pandemic, it doesn’t go away and it actually continues to spread. Because of these two forms of depression, people more in the know than myself are throwing up warning flares that the one-two punch of these two depressions could be a serious issue in the coming months. And if you’re keeping track, that’s one of roughly 3,467 serious issues people could be facing in the coming months because remember, everything is shit.
No really, everything is shit. That should be the official slogan of 2020.
2020: Everything Is Shit
Now is the time, America. Now is the time to abolish Daylight Savings Time. It’s confusing and it’s weird and yeah, it’s super fucking confusing! It takes me three or four days to get my head around it and I’ve been dealing with this nonsense for forty years. Plus I have young kids and having young kids during Daylight Savings Time is the worst! They don’t know what the hell is going on so you can shut the hell up about one of the benefits of Daylight Savings Time in the fall being you getting an extra hour of sleep because that just isn’t the case for parents of young kids.
We don’t need a 25-hour day right now and unlike the 1970s, there isn’t an energy shortage happening that strengthens the argument for Daylight Savings Time. Asia and Australia don’t mess around with Daylight Savings Time and in some countries like Austria, it’s only employed in parts of the country. What should we take away from that? I don’t know but I like their thinking.
Americans need a win right now, something to put a smile on all of our faces. I doubt the election will do that if only because it’s going to be a massive, swirling dervish of obnoxious frustration and anxiety and all the sports besides football is now done for the time being and relying solely on football, especially the NFL which seems hell-bent on stubborning its way through coronavirus outbreaks seems like a risky strategy. An entire NFL season might happen, but I doubt that means we’ll feel good about it. As far as providing a distraction from everything, sports isn’t exactly killing it right now.
We barely feel good about anything anymore. It’s damn near impossible.
So why not let us feel good about not having to deal with changing our clocks this weekend and not having to deal with adjusting to Daylight Savings Time?
Seems like a solid win to me.
Your move, people who decide these kinds of things.
Categories: Current Events
Giddy Up America 
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