We Are Deer Antler Spray and Some More Traffic-Induced Thoughts

Traffic was sludgy this morning. You can’t blame the fog- it wasn’t that bad. And the rest of the weather? The weather was overcast, so move on. I don’t really know what issue was. Dad thought maybe all the other drives were still asleep. Well if that’s the case, then traffic was actually not that bad, and if anything, pretty impressive that it was moving at all.

You have two options when sitting in traffic.
1.) Stare off and think about nothing
2.) Stare off and think about everything

I chose option 2.

Wednesday Morning Sludgy Traffic-Induced Thoughts…

If Deer Antler Spray isn’t the name of a band somewhere yet, then we’re failing as a nation. Oh, and we’re also failing a nation because of stuff like this.

An Entourage movie? Pass. Well, let me rephrase that- I pass unless Michael Scott is involved long enough to say the word Entourage every time it needs to be said…

When did everyone else buy Hyundais?

No really, Deer Antler Spray better be the name of someone’s band.

Sure, you can surf a 100 hundred foot wave. But can you surf a 200 hundred foot wave?

I’ve reached the point where I am totally not ashamed to admit that I both watch and enjoy The Bachelor. There is nothing else like it out there and it’s amazing- amazing for so many marvelous reasons. Hot ladies. Hot ladies who effin’ hate one another. Hot ladies who pretend they don’t effin’ hate one another. Hot ladies getting into funny cat fights. Weird resets when the Douchey Bachelor is with one hot lady, proclaiming his kind of love for her and then five minutes later, doing the exact same thing with another hot lady. Hot ladies reaching the conclusion that Douchey Bachelor is totally her husband after one group date and three minutes chatting it up on a couch. Oh and the group dates- they provide valuable insight as to what life in the wild must be like. My guess is that we’re at least two seasons away from one hot lady literally killing another one. But she’ll do it in the name of love, so we’ll find it adorable.

I still think the 49ers will win. But I also think that doesn’t mean Jesus abandoned Ray Lewis. It just means Jesus doesn’t control football. At some point, this will make sense to almost everyone.

I’m thinking about buying the Asbury Park Press because this skit from Portlandia made me think it was possible…

The new Local Natives’ album gets a solid “eh” from me.

The Internet was right. It is hard to sell a used furnace.

This is something that has stuck with me and I’m going to paraphrase it for you. It’s Kim Kardashian talking about going to therapy. I don’t want to share my problems with a complete stranger. She said this on her television show, which is watched by millions. Millions of what? Millions of strangers.

This is the best article I’ve read in a while.

There’s been a lot of talk about the future of football this week, highlighted by President Obama saying he’d “have to think long and hard about allowing his son to play football.” First off, you shouldn’t allow your kid to play in the street; you shouldn’t not allow them to play an organized sport. I feel when it comes to sports, or any school-sanctioned activity, you have to let kids make decisions for themselves as to whether or not they want to do it. As for the future of football, the issue is safety and education. But here’s where I get stuck- safety and education cost money. You can say that helmets need to be better and I would agree, but I’d also add that new helmets cost money and I would sincerely doubt that every football program in the country would be able to spend the money needed to get these new helmets. The changes that need to made to keep football going need to happen everywhere, not just where it can be afforded.

I think Deer Antler Spray would be a metal band, but I could totally see it being a country band. Either way, America get on this!

Weird Weather Wednesday Music Recommendation:

Tsunami Rising A Silent Spring

Ray Lewis photo by Derick Hingle

Categories: Current Events

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