Catching a Breath: 10 Things I’ve Learned in the Past Month

I have had a lot going on lately. There have been quite a few life changes and believe me, I’ve wanted to write a coherent blog about every single one of them. But I haven’t been able too. Maybe because I’ve been busy using a pen and a few pieces of scotch tape to jerry rig the air conditioner in my new office or landscaping the shit out of our yard with my new weedwacker. I have also spent an unhealthy amount on the phone with Verizon and Direct TV, trying to get our Internet and Cable hooked up.
 
So long story short, detailed & long-winded blogs are just not in the cards right now. So a list is.
 
Here are ten things I’ve learned in the past month or so.
 
1. People do love talking about fantasy football, but only because it allows them to talk openly about their own team. The average person could care less about yours, but they’d like you to care about theirs. With that being said, I’m very stoked to have Brandon Lloyd & Jimmy Graham and I feel like a cheap, dirty hooker for drafting Tim Tebow with my last pick.
 
2. There are two things that I find incredibly troubling about Rep. Akin’s comments about rape (and it should be noted these are things that are collateral damage. I find his comments themselves massively troubling.) The first is that our elected officials should be smarter than he apparently is. And the second is that there are most likely people out there who are supporting him now not because they are standing up to the liberal elite, but because they agree with what he said.
 
3. Listening to radio in central New Jersey is waste of time, unless of course you like static. Every station is either an out of range Philly station or an out of range New York station. The only New Jersey station that comes in clearly in NJ 101.5- which I think is a news station, although sometimes it’s hard to tell. Their morning show consists of an old guy rattling off old guy complaints. It’s not as entertaining as it sounds.
 
4. Imperial, the official beer of Costa Rica, is great and marvelous for day drinking. But after a few days, it starts to get old. After a week, it’s really old. And by the tenth day you’re just wishing there was more of that beer from Nicaragua.
 
5. You can make all the jokes about Bed, Bath & Beyond that you want (and you should,) but that store is flippin’ amazing. They literally have everything. It’s like a much more practical version of Ikea and doesn’t even have the slippery floors that for some reason every Ikea seems to have. Multiple options for paper towel holders and the security of not slipping and breaking your neck? I’m sold.
 
6. Restaurants like T.G.I. Fridays and Applebee’s should have specials Saturday afternoons from 2 to 5pm, for those people out running errands. They’d clean up. Maybe something like a free appetizer with a receipt from store nearby- something like that. If you work for either one of those stores and are reading this, you’re welcome. If you don’t work for either one of those joints, are reading this and thinking about stealing this idea- not cool.
 
7. When asked how I feel about the Red Sox this year, the answer is simple. Go Patriots.

8. If you’ve been looking for a job for a while (and I was, from January until July,) an added bonus that comes with finding a job is the thrill of cancelling all the job alerts you signed up for in the midst of your hunt. Although I’ll tell you this, just when you thought you cancelled them all, another one pops up. Job hunting, especially when there are dire consequences involved, makes a man desperate. And you should never underestimate the width of a net a desperate man casts.

9. I know what it feels like to almost be dead. And I don’t mean like dead as in not living, but dead as in settling for an insanely mundane job and slothing into mediocrity. Not many people know this, but I had two interviews with Mutual of Omaha to sell insurance. I had reached a point where I wasn’t sure what my options were and thought that frankly, any options I had were limited. So I started thinking outside of the box and thinking that maybe I would do something like sell insurance. You don’t need to love your job, you just need to do your job I kept telling myself as I drove up the New Jersey Turnpike. I had been lucky for the most part and had jobs I loved. That would be enough. So I went to two interviews with Mutual of Omaha and learned all about their compensation program and how that no matter how long you’ve been shucking insurance, you’ll always be nervous before knocking on someone’s door. I gave it some thought and even took the test after the second interview to see if I was M of O material- which I was. But in the end, I just couldn’t stick my head in the sand like that. Of course if I was still looking for a job right now, that might have all changed.

photo by Steven Govel
10. The best moment of my wedding was not the waiting by myself the few minutes before we entered the church and was not the moment the Reverend pronounced Kim and I husband and wife. It was not the first dance, the dance with my Mom or the dance off Kim and I had. It was not the mashed potatoes (although they were amazing) and it was not one of the many times I looked over at Kim during the reception, thinking that I can’t believe that amazing woman was my wife. No, the best moment happened on her way down the aisle, when Kim reached the center aisle and for the first time, our eyes met. That was the best moment of our wedding for me.
I’ve learned a few other things in these past few weeks. Things like how yes, Costa Rican coffee is delicious, moving is one of the worst things in the world (I already knew this, but it was reaffirmed) and quitting a job you couldn’t stand injects you with a feeling of invincibility (I think I knew this too, but it was also reaffirmed,) but the ten things listed are the ones that have stuck out.

Summer is almost over and it’s been a tornado of life-altering changes. Fall is coming and it’s time to settle in. I can’t wait.

All right life. Let’s dance.

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