For the past few seasons, I have ranked the plot lines of each episode of Game of Thrones. For this season the rankings have moved over to BroBible.
Episode One: “Winterfell”
In the season premiere, Daenerys and her crew arrive at Winterfell and long story short, she should have brought muffins. She did bring dragons, the Unsullied and the Dothraki, but all that doesn’t mean a damn thing when you leave your manners behind. Meanwhile Bran was freaking everyone and becoming a meme, Jaime made it to Winterfell with a new look, Sam found out Daenerys had killed his dad and brother and Jon found out who he really was. Also Bronn was tasked by Cersei to kill her brothers and it was confirmed that Tormund survived the Night King torching East Watch at the end of last season.
Song of the Week: “It’s Tricky” by RUN DMC
Episode Two: “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”
Not everyone is pumped Jaime Lannister is in Winterfell in season eight’s second episode, but he’s allowed to stay. He apologizes to Bran for pushing him out of the window waaaay back in season one, episode one and reconnects with Tyrion who suffers another L when Jaime tells everyone that contrary to what she said, Cersei definitely isn’t coming. Tormund and company make it to Winterfell and let everyone know that the dead are coming in hot, Arya and Gendry make the most of what they assume is their last night alive and Jon tells Daenerys that they’re related. It does not go over well.
The episode’s highlight featured Jaime knighting Brienne as Tyrion, Podrick, Tormund and Davos looked on.
Song of the Week: “It’s the End of the World” by REM
Episode Three: “The Long Night”
“The Dead are here” Daenerys tells Jon early on in the season’s third episode, the long-awaited Battle of Winterfell. The nearly ninety minute long episode was a marathon of suspense, sadness and misery. Jorah, Theon, Edd and Beric all died. So did Melisandre, who emerged from the darkness as the battle was about to start. Somehow no one else died, which was odd seeing as how it definitely seemed like a lot of characters would.
In the end, it was Arya, and not Jon who killed the Night King, and just like that, the dead had been defeated and it was on to Cersei.
Song of the Week: “Can’t Stop the Bleeding” by Tom Morrello featuring Gary Clark Jr. and Gramatik.
Episode 4: “The Last of the Starks”
Following the Battle of Winterfell, things get tense. Daenerys isn’t feeling the love, Jaime is feeling the love for Brienne, but then for Cersei and Rhaegal is feeling the love from a spear shot by Euron. Jon had Bran tell Sansa and Arya about who he really is and Sansa promptly told Tyrion, who then told Varys, which got Varys’ wheels turning. By the time the episode was over, Tormund was set to head north, while Arya and the Hound were headed south.
Song of the Week: “Why Can’t We Be Friends” by WAR
Episode 5: “The Bells”
The show’s penultimate episode was also it’s more gnarly. First Varys got roasted alive once his plan to betray Daenerys in favor of Jon became known and Tyrion was put on notice. Tyrion responded by breaking Jaime out of captivity, with Jaime having been busted headed south. Tyrion’s plan was to have Jaime get to Cersei and get her to surrender before the siege started. It didn’t work. Daenerys laid waste to the Iron Fleet as well as the Golden Company before turning her sights on all of King’s Landing. Clegane Bowl happened and Arya might have added a new name to her list.
Song of the Week: “For Whom the Bell Tolls” Metallica