Dean Unglert is a man of few words. To make things worse, Dean Unglert is a man of few facial expressions. So in short, Dean Unglert is not a fantastic communicator. He’s actually a pretty terrible one.
Let’s quickly rewind.
Dean was on this most recent season of The Bachelorette, the one with Rachel Lindsay that ended in a very emotionally confusing and straight up weird way. Dean made it pretty far, to the top four. In the process he won himself no shortage of admirers due in no small part to his easy going nature and a trip back home that left everyone feeling massively uncomfortable and sorry for him in ways that was a new experience for fans of reality television. We’ve seen people be embarrassed before, we’ve seen them make asses of themselves. This was new though. Dean’s Dad is a…well…it was an rough visit and probably shouldn’t have been televised. But it was because it’s 2017 and that’s how things roll these days.
As The Bachelorette wrapped up, Bachelor Nation dutifully turned their attention towards the topic of who would be the next Bachelor. Dean seemed like a fairly obvious choice, although any hope of that diminished by him pretty much saying he didn’t have any interest in doing it. But then it was announced that Smilin’ Dean Unglert was going to be on Bachelor in Paradise and then the thought was that if he keeps doing what he does well (i.e. not talking, smiling) and has a good showing in Paradise in the same way Nick Viall did last summer all of that could change and Dean would be the next Bachelor.
So, your move Dean.
We’re now four episodes into Bachelor in Paradise and so far, it’s not really going to plan. Our boy Dean has found himself increasingly on the wrong side of public opinion. Dean started out pretty strong with Kristina and when the show shut down briefly because of The Demario/Corinne Incident of 2017, they apparently spent time together in her home state of Kentucky. When the show resumed filming, Kristian was under the impression that their relationship would resume as well. Why wouldn’t? They spent a long weekend together in Kentucky – the home of romance, bourbon and Mitch effin’ McConnell. However, Dean seemed to feel otherwise and started smiling and not talking and nervously laughing his way away from Kristina, right into the arms of Danielle. It’s Bachelor in Paradise, this stuff happens. If Dean had simply been a man and was honest to Kristina and had moved on to Danielle – probably wouldn’t be an issue. But he didn’t. He kind of kept stringing Kristina along and as he did, public opinion of Dean started to crater.
As was pointed out at the jump, Dean is a man of few words and even fewer facial expressions. He doesn’t give you much to go on, which I can imagine would be frustrating.
Giddy Up America recently had the chance to sit down with Dean to discuss the show, as well as a variety of topics. It was illuminating.
GUA: Hi Dean, thanks for being here.
GUA: Great, let’s get started. How does that sound?
GUA: Good, I’m excited to. Let’s start here, how have you felt that Bachelor in Paradise has gone so far?
GUA: Oh yeah? Why do you think that?
GUA: Come again?
GUA: Okay, I don’t understand why you’re smiling like that.
GUA: Yeah, it was weird. Anyway, do you feel like you’ve been portrayed in a less than favorable light so far?
GUA: Dean, this is a safe space. You can answer. No judgements buddy. I’m like Planet Fitness.
GUA: Do you go to a gym?
GUA: Great people watching, huh?
GUA: I had to stop my membership after our daughter was born; just didn’t have the time. They really make it hard to quit those damn things, huh?
GUA: Oh well. So back to the show…
GUA: Do you think you treated, or have at this point, based on what we’ve seen, treated Kristina poorly?
GUA: Safe space, Dean.
GUA: Okay, let’s move on. How did you feel when Danielle showed up and asked you on a date?
GUA: Yeah, it seemed that way.
GUA: Good looking lady. Of course so is Kristina. Not a bad situation to be in, huh? Picking between the two?
GUA: What was your reason for going back to Kristina after the date with Danielle, though? That wasn’t entirely clear.
GUA: It kind of seemed like you were trying to lead her on or at the very least, keep that door open in case things with Danielle didn’t work out.
GUA: Yeah, looked kind of shady.
GUA: We’ll obviously see how things pan out so I’ll reserve anymore judgement for the time being, but I’ll be honest dude, you’ve lost my wife. She’s anti-Dean now.
GUA: I don’t think she’s alone either.
GUA: But you know, a lot can change. We’ll see what happens next week.
GUA: Let’s talk about something else. How does that sound?
GUA: You follow politics, Dean?
GUA: Hmm, so probably not a lot of thoughts about our president?
GUA: Oh, okay. Would you care to elaborate on that at all?
GUA: That’s fair. Kind of a sticky subject these days.
GUA: Well, not sure it’s really that funny…
GUA: Okay then. How do you feel about a new Taylor Swift album?
GUA: You’re a fan?
GUA: I know. Who isn’t, right?
GUA: What was your favorite song off of 1989?
GUA: Oh, okay. Well, I liked “Style.”
GUA: Speaking of which, have you heard that new Harry Styles’ album?
GUA: Well you should check it out. It’s really good.
GUA: Did you see Dunkirk?
GUA: Well you should. It’s really good. Did you see Wonder Woman?
GUA: Pretty good, huh?
GUA: I thought it was so refreshing to see a typical action movie based around a female character.
GUA: Can’t say I’m all that excited about Justice League, though. What about you?
GUA: Yeah, Batman v Superman was just so bad.
GUA: If you could have one super power, what would it be?
GUA: I think I missed that one. What would it be?
GUA: We’ll table that one for now.
GUA: Here’s a random question for you.
GUA: No, don’t worry. It’s an easy one.
GUA: Which version of Darius Rucker do you like better: Hootie and the Blowfish Darius Rucker or country singer Darius Rucker?
GUA: Yeah, maybe that wasn’t an easy one.
GUA: “Wagon Wheel” is a pretty great song. Do you like that one?
GUA: Me too.
GUA: Okay, so just a couple more questions for you.
GUA: Again, nothing super serious.
GUA: Don’t get too excited there buddy. I might ask you about Kristina again.
GUA: Just kidding.
GUA: Jokes are fun aren’t they?
GUA: Did you hear about the circus?
GUA: It was intense.
GUA: Get it? In tents? Intense.
GUA: Well, it’s not for everyone.
GUA: Last question for you, what were you more afraid of in Paradise: a wicked sunburn, alcohol poisoning or getting severely dehydrated?
GUA: That’s a good answer. They’re all problematic.
GUA: Well that’s it.
GUA: Ha, yes. You’re off the hook.
GUA: Good luck on the rest of Paradise. You got a tough decision ahead.
GUA: I’m sure you’ll figure it out, though.
GUA: Yeah, maybe not.
Categories: Bachelor Nation, Television
Giddy Up America 
Leave a Reply