The Pros & Cons of the Chadbear

person-person_664ec626-d753-45bd-9d24-cb61a5628f33_2000x800_source-1000x400-Q90_1463061688414The super villain of this season of The Bacherlotte, Chad, had his swan song this week. Or at least he officially did. Usually when a contestant gets the boot they leave. Or they are left stranded in some sort of desolate location. Either way, they’re done. We have moved on. But on the second of the two episodes aired this week, Chad, a.k.a. the Chad Bear, a.k.a The Chadpacolypse, a.k.a. Brian, did not move on. Yes, he technically moved, but he did so with the determined ferocity of Leo in The Revenant. But in terms of moving on from the show; that didn’t happen.

Chad is not gone yet.

That is the good news.

But he will soon.

That is the bad news.

Obviously Chad needed to go. Among his many sins he committed during his short run, he committed the worst one a person can commit in his situation- he wasn’t there for the right reasons. Chad didn’t really care about JoJo. Chad might not even care about love because Chad might think that emotions are for women, cats and greeting cards. Chad wanted some of that good old fashion reality television fame. His second sin was not hiding that better.

His third was littering. He left his dirty dishes everywhere.

His fourth was possibly murder. I’m not ruling this out.

Chad was a liability and not the fun kind. He was the dangerous kind. Even the dudes with muscles were afraid of him so imagine how this guy must have felt when Chad was in the same room.


Chad would have ripped off Evan’s limbs before Evan could even reach for his bow and arrow. YOU CAN’T TELL ME EVAN ISN’T INTO ARCHERY! I would also be worried for JoJo some if Chad stayed, only because he seems like the kind of fella who has a level of respect for females that’s in the negatives. He respects his protein shakes more. He’s not Hitler, though. Only a cartoonish Canadian would say that. Chad is Trumpian though, so much so that he employs the same life philosophy; one that is based on the idea that if someone makes fun of you, you are then expected to make fun of them. You have to. I mean, it’s the same defense mechanism employed by 6 year old boys, but hey, so far it’s gotten one of them a step away from the Presidency and one of them a bevy of followers on Instagram.

The problem with Chad leaving, and sadly there is one, is that it’s going to make this season infinitely less interesting. The Bachelor franchise has yet to find a way to keep a villain around longer than the episode four through six range. The exception of course is the Top Dog of Bachelor Villainy, Courtney from Vineyard Ben’s season, who ended up winning. That’s why if you were to ever rank Bachelor Franchise Villains she’s the automatic candidate for the top spot. She pulled off the imaginable. Her season should be studied by scholars and psychopaths. You can’t top what she did. Ever. It’s like the Golden State Warriors winning 73 games this season. It’s a mark that will never be bested. Even Chad has to be impressed.


But the producers and Chris Harrison are doing both themselves and us, the audience, a massive disservice. They need to coach up their villains better; teach them to be more subtle about their villainy and not let the cat out of the bag that they are terrible people until we’re down to at least single digits for contestants. How have that they not learned this yet? The villains are what make the show interesting and fun. It’s what draws in the casual viewers and dominates the Internet in the days following an episode. Aaron Rodgers’ brother is cool and all and will be at least in the final two, but I don’t really want to learn anymore about him or watch him anymore. And if I do, it’s in the context of the Chadpacolypse. Take away that destructive force of nature and you have nothing. All you have is just a nice 70 degree day, which is only slightly better than a 40 degree day. Once you remove conflict, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette gets noticeably less interesting.

JoJo is wonderful. JoJo is destined for a fantastic career on television once this over. JoJo can hold my attention, but she can’t hold it like the looming threat of violence on television show can. To reference The Wire again, The Wire was inherently interesting because at it’s core was the conflict between the drugs and the cops. Treme wasn’t as successful because it lacked that conflict; it’s stakes were harder to discern. Minus the conflict created by the Chadpacolypse, The Bachelorette can’t do anything to make up for the fact that it’ll be less interesting and less entertaining, regardless of how fantastic JoJo might be.

Chad needed to go because he was a lunatic.

Chad needed to stay because he was a lunatic.



Categories: Television

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