Rest in Peace, Hodor. You went out like a champ. You’re the real MVP, sir.
This week’s episode of Game of Thrones “The Door,” was sneaky good. The show has a history of going big in the middle of seasons, so I for one was expecting something fairly momentous. Yet halfway through the episode I was starting to have my doubts as it seemed like this was going to be another moving pieces into place kind of episode. But I was wrong. I feel foolish for doubting you, Game of Thrones. I’d like to blame it on being tired, if that’s okay.
Let’s get going with the power rankings.
Giddy Up America’s Game of Thrones’ Power Rankings: Week Five
1. Behind Every Good (and Resurrected) Man is a Good (and Pissed Off) Woman
This might seem slightly controversial, especially considering what went down in the last fifteen minutes of the episode but these are my power rankings. That stuff was cool and all, definitely interesting, but my personal interests still lie at the foot of the Wall in Castle Black. I’m becoming a huge fan of Sansa 2.0. Huge! I’m not going to say we owe the show runners an apology for lambasting their treatment of Sansa, especially last season, but at the very least we have now learned not to jump to any conclusions when it comes to the treatment of characters. Game of Thrones is playing the long game; they aren’t prisoners of the moment. Yes, Sansa has been treated terribly. However, the end result is a strong and determined character- yet another bad ass female character on a show that has more than most. Make your arguments that Game of Thrones is a boorish and sexist show and I’ll respond that it might be the most pro-feminism show on television.
Sansa 2.0 has been exactly what was needed up north- a hard-assed driver of action. She’s given the north more of a clear-cut purpose, as well as lit a fire under Jon’s ass. Before this season started, the show runners said that this season would feature the largest battle on the show to date and it looks like it’s going to be the Battle of the North. Count me in.
And props to Sansa 2.0 for not only rejecting Little Finger’s offer for assistance, but for very clearly illustrating exactly why she doesn’t trust him anymore. For a hot second I thought it might be the end of Little Finger, but instead, we saw him cut down in a way I’m not sure we’ve seen before. She didn’t just put him in his place, she put him in his place without supper first. Bam. Sansa 2.0 in the house! Of course, Little Finger is dangerous enough. A scorned and rejected Little Finger might be even more so. What does he do now? Just pack up the knights of the Vale and head home? That doesn’t seem like his style. It’s not like you can walk up to your recently assembled military and call for a mulligan. I’m not sure that’s how it works. Does he head to Winterfell now? If so, how does he spin that seeing as how he told Robyn that the reason for their actions was the Boltons kidnapping of Sansa. It’s a tough play. Although if anyone can do it, I guess it’s Little Finger.
Either way, there’s always this:
#brienmond? #tormienne? #torbrie?
2. Branventures Through History
Sweet, sweet Hodor. He was literally one of the last characters on Game of Thrones who had never done something to question our allegiance to him. Little picture, of course he’ll be missed. Big picture, he was sacrificed for what I’m assuming is some kind of greater good. I just don’t know what that is. And actually, I have some questions about all of these shenanigans up north and I’m just going to list them off with no intentions of trying to answer them.
- With Bran on the run now, does this mean that we’re done with flashbacks?
- If we’re done with flashbacks, then does that mean that the little we got outside the Tower of Joy is all we’re going to get?
- If Bran can in fact alter the past, will that come into play or is it just like a campfire trick? Something to impress the ladies with?
- Where do Bran and Meera go now?
- Can Bran dunk?
- Back to this diving into the past stuff, how would Bran altering history effect the larger story here, which is the story of defeating the White Walkers, because remember, IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WHITE WALKERS.
- Will we see Zombie Hodor at some point?
- What’s with the Night’s King Crew?
- Am I the only one who thought/thinks one of them might be Benjen Stark?
Also, RIP Summer, Bran’s dire wolf. So if you’re keeping score, that means only Jon’s wolf, Ghost, remains in play. Although Arya’s could still be out there somewhere.
The Leftovers (specifically Danys’ leftovers) Make Mereen Great Again
Chappelle’s Show had a skit where you could get a Wrap it Up Box, perfect for those situations when you just wish things would move along faster than they are. Is it possible to get one for this plot line? Please. I feel like I’m asking for a lot of people here.
4. Damn, Danys
Well, she responded by giving Jorah a classic Friend Zone tease. Obviously she was going to find out he had that pesky gray scale thing. But she owes him a lot and frankly, she makes better decisions when he’s around. She needs him. So what does she do? She tells him to go get himself right and then, then together they can take Westeros. It’s like if Rihanna told Drake that if he stopped wearing dumb turtlenecks, they could be more than friends. So he does, but then surprise- it never really happens. Why? Because of the Friend Zone.
So Sad Jorah is riding off to find a cure for gray scale, while Daenerys is presumably headed back to Mereen. Because that’s awesome.
God, Wrap it up, B!
5. A Girl Must Get Her Act Together
Let me ask this- is Arya really supposed to kill the actress playing Cersei or is it just Jaqen’s way of testing her and making her prove that she has really put her past behind her? I can’t decide.
6. Pyke: Least Desirable Island Getaway, 80 Years Running!
It’s like each time we go to Pyke and the Iron Islands we are reminded of what a God awful effin’ place it is. Now we get to witness Iron Islands’ politics and it’s as brutish and dismal as expected. Yarra made her claim and Theon dutifully back her up. Everything seemed aces until Uncle Euron strolled up again, claimed the championship belt, the throne, the fleet and all the wonderful perks that come with ruling the Iron Islands and also admitted to killing the former king. Naturally people ditch Yarra and side with Euron. Come on, we’re supposed to believe that people would just flock like that to a loud mouthed bully who preaches bold claims and ideas he can’t back up?
However, It was kind of interesting that Euron’s plan involved providing Daenerys with ships- a fun reminder that all of this craziness is happening in the same world. But where are Yarra and Theon headed to with the Iron Islands’ best ships?
The Caribbean? Open up a tiki bar?
The Westeros Regatta?
I have no idea. And I’m also not sure I care.