The Dawn of…I Still Have Some Questions


The third trailer for Batman v Superman: the Dawn of Justice is the fourth thing people are talking about today. Behind Kanye West, more Kanye and that wacko shit happening up in Oregon. The reason for the hullabaloo surrounding this trailer is that it’s quite simply, the best one so far, with each trailer getting slightly better. It’s dark, but not comically dark. A step in the right direction, especially from the first one. I mean, we still know what’s going to happen in this movie but I think most people can agree that the levels of excitement are now pulling even with the levels of skepticism.

I do though, still have a few questions.

Is this the Bat Cave or a Japanese office building?

Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 3.33.42 PM

I’m assuming it’s the Bat Cave, but it definitely doesn’t look like the Bat Cave, at least not as we’ve come to understand it. I mean if anything, shouldn’t it look like a cave? That person walking there- it looks like they are walking to the copy machine. And while there might be a copy machine in the Bat Cave…for some reason…I…well, the Bat Copy Machine…it just doesn’t look like what we all feel like the Bat Cave should look like.

What the hell is going on here?

Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 3.37.52 PM

Is Superman breaking up some kind of weird Day of the Dead parade? Is he the Grand Marshall of a weird Day of the Dead parade? How come only some people have their faces painted? More importantly, was this the weirdest scene for Henry Cavill to shoot?

Director: “Okay, Hank, you stand right there.”

Cavill: “Right here?”

Director: “Yup. Right there. Okay, now bring in the extras.”

The extras surround Superman.

Director: “Okay, extras, when I say ‘action,’ you’re to reach for Hank. Okay?”

Cavill: “But, what should I do?”

Director: “Just look magnanimous, bro.”

I still don’t get this part. And that’s not really a question, so let me rephrase- what’s going on with this part?

Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 3.40.15 PM

They’ve shown parts of these scenes before. Is it a dream sequence? Are those flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz? I didn’t know Oz was part of the D.C. Universe. Man, they are really doing some world-building here.

Speaking of world-building, how long is this movie going to be?

My guess is at least four hours. Think about it- you have to establish Batman and Bruce Wayne, you have to bring Superman back into the mix and presumably explain why he’s the Grand Marshall of Day of the Dead parades. Then you have to build up the tension between Batman and Superman because after all, it is Batman v Superman. Then Wonder Woman gets involved…

Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 4.18.22 PM

…and isn’t Aquaman around somewhere? Then Batman and Superman have to throw down, make amends and then fight Doomsday, something that was shown in the second trailer. Unless everything is yadda-yadda’d, that’s a lot of ground to cover. So yeah, over/under is 4.5 hours and I’m taking the over.

Finally, what exactly is this suit made of?

Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 3.39.18 PM

Probably something pretty cool. Or more specifically, something pretty Bat Cool.









Categories: Movies

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