The Final Countdown

By Ryan O'Connell on 08/05/2013 • ( 0 )

Any day now.

Any minute now.

Wait for it.

Monday morning and it’s the final countdown when it comes to the announcement of suspensions in baseball related to this Biogenesis scandal. But wait, maybe you’re not familiar with what exactly the Biogenesis scandal is. Maybe you’ve somehow been preoccupied with other things- things like politics, weather patterns or whether or not gluten free is actually gluten free. If that is the case, here’s all you need to know…

Biogenesis was a shady “anti-aging” clinic in or very close to Miami. It was run by a dude named Bosch, although not this Bosh. Bosch got pretty, pretty good when it came to giving folks steroids and pretty soon was hooking up guys like Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Braun, Nelson Cruz and more. But then whoops, he got busted. Or arrested. Or maybe just…I’m not too sure, but either way, Major League Baseball got involved and Bosch flipped. This was awesome for baseball because Bosch ended up being as good of a note-taker as that dude in Casino, the one who owned the grocery store in Kansas City. Bosch had note books, emails, text messages…you name it. And he spilled the beans to baseball and now baseball is on the verge of suspending as many as 20 players for their connection with Biogenesis. The big fish is ARod who, depending on the day, is either being suspended for the rest of the season, the rest of this season and next or the rest of his career with a life-time ban.

Major League Baseball is reportedly going to announce these suspensions around noon today.

So what do you do in the meantime?

That’s a good question.

Well for starters, you could watch this clip of Jason Sudeikis as an American football coach coaching an English ~~soccer~~ football team.

Or you could do some research on a potential Democratic Presidential hopeful not named Hillary Clinton- Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley.

There’s taking some time today to wonder just what exactly Eric is up to on True Blood or why that show even bothers with non-vampire story lines.

You could put a smile on your face by watching this:

Or watch either of these two trailers- one for American Hustle…

and marvel at all the wonderful hair styles and think to yourself, is David O. Russell going for every Oscar category now?

And this trailer for Lone Survivor…

and say to yourself, maybe I should grow a beard.

Here’s one thing you could do- you could wonder what 2 Chainz is up to right now?

He’s probably reading 18th century English literature. Typical 2 Chainz.

You could think about the other story lines in baseball right now. Like how the Dodgers are on an absolute tear right now, the Red Sox and Rays are trading places atop the AL East and both the Pirates and Royals are possible playoff teams.

And dude, it’s almost football season, so that’s exciting. You can spend this next hour or so thinking of fantasy football teams that may or may not include a pun on one of the following:

Aaron Hernandez
Sharknado
Riley Cooper
Amanda Bynes
2 Chainz

Listening to the new J. Cole album would be a good way to kill some time. The song with Miguel is probably my favorite. It’s grown on me.

In the end, there’s numerous things you could be doing while you patiently await Major League Baseball to finally announce the Biogenesis scandal suspensions.

One of those things could be working.

But then you wouldn’t have read this blog.

Don’t worry. I won’t tell your boss.