Mad Men Recap: Trying to Lend a Hand

don-600-1370864275I don’t really know what Mad Men is about anymore. I feel that it might be about duality in men (and women) and coming to terms with the person we really are- but those are just guesses at best. This season has been good; it’s just been hard to define. Episodes just happen. Sirens are getting louder. Leaders are being assassinated. Joints are being smoked. Betty is fat, Betty is skinny. The only episode that was truly memorable and easy to label was the episode when everyone was all jacked up on speed.

But in a season of vagueness, one thing that has become glaringly apparent is that Don Draper is a massive asshole. And that might be an understatement. This isn’t breaking news, though. We’ve known this from the jump, when we found out that he stole someone’s identity to start a new life. From then on, Mad Men has been one long affirmation of his shittyness as a human being.

Of all the challenges facing Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner going forward, finding ways to make Don even more unlikeable might either be the easiest or the hardest challenge he has to tackle.

So I thought I’d help.

Here’s some ways that Matthew Weiner and Mad Men could make Don Draper even more unlikeable than he is already.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don punches a baby dolphin.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don tells baby Gene that Santa Claus isn’t real. And neither is the Easter Bunny. And Henry Francis hates him.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don makes fun of Megan’s teeth.

On next week’s Mad Men, Peggy finds out Don put that rat in her apartment. He also put two more rats there, but she hasn’t found those yet.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don feels Jimi Hendrix is overrated and still admits to not understanding the Beatles.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don outs Bob Benson to the entire office.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don beats up Bert Cooper during a partners meeting.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don calls Dawn a racist name after awkwardly hitting on her while drunk.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don loses Bobby in the Museum of American History. He gives up looking for him after thirty minutes.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don seduces Pete Campbell’s mother. And Manolo. In front of Pete’s mom. And Bob Benson.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don shaves Stan’s beard after forcing him to drink with him all afternoon and Stan passes out on Don’s couch.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don tells the police that Ginsburg is a Russian spy.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don literally steals candy from a baby.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don starts a petition in Woodstock, New York to stop the Woodstock festival from happening there.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don tells Dr. Rosen that yes, Sylvia is having an affair. With the doorman.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don pushes Roger Sterling out of a moving vehicle.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don gets Ted’s pilot’s license revoked.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don writes a letter to Joan’s husband Greg, telling him that Roger is the baby’s father and not him.

On next week’s Mad Men, Don invents disco music.

Those are just a start.

Photos: AMC

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