Based on some recent changes and plot developments, I’ve had to make some changes to the Game of Thrones’ Plot Line Power Rankings, essentially combining some plots. They’ll stay this way for the time being.

Giddy Up America’s Game of Thrones’ Plot Lines Power Rankings: Week 5

1. Jon Snow’s Adventures Beyond the Wall

I guess this should be updated to On the wall as Jon spent the majority of “The Climb” climbing the wall along with Ygritte and members of Mance Rayder’s army. Another update would be that for the first time in what seems like an incredibly long time, I was 100% on board with what Jon was up to. 100%. And Jon and Ygritte together? I haven’t been that excited about a television couple since Matt Sarocen and Julie Taylor got together. Jon and Ygritte are effin’ adorable together. If Ygritte had died while climbing the wall, I might have thrown something at the TV and like most stupid things people do on Cinco de Mayo, wouldn’t have been able to blame it on tequila.

I do wonder where they go from here, though. Like, literally. Once you climb one side of the wall, do you climb down the other? That seems like a shitty plan and you’d then be spent by the time you’d actually have to fight someone. And what exactly gets accomplished by attacking the wall? Is it just about trying to get that door open? Seems like they could have tried something else- a Trojan horse move or maybe something Ace Venture-like.

Oh and I have another question- the one dude who is leading the climbing expedition, they said he’s climbed the wall almost fifty times? That’s impressive. It’s a big wall. But uh, why? For the view? That’d be understandable. It is pretty delightful.

Either way and questions aside, I liked Jon and Ygritte’s pact and Jon pledging loyalty to that spicy redhead. I just wonder where they go from here.

And I was right, that one guy climbing the wall and sharing memories with animals was Gareth in the British version of The Office. Cue self satisfaction.

2. As King’s Landing Turns (now including Tyrion’s Second Act and A Stark in King’s Landing: Sansa)

Thanks to Tywin, these three plots are now firmly intertwined. Or more specifically, intertywined. The old badger met his match, though in Granny Tyrell. When their conversation was over, Kim and I were both confused. Granny Tyrell seemed to end things with a symbolic go eff yourself, which is cool and all, but not all that helpful when it comes to resolving things.

And come on, do we even feel bad for Sansa anymore? Honestly. Ask yourself that- do I feel bad for Sansa anymore?

Argument FOR feeling bad for her:

1. She’s still living in captivity
2. She could be killed at anytime if Joffrey had his way
3. The guy she’s excited about marrying (Loras) isn’t exactly feeling the same way

Argument AGAINST feeling bad for her:

1. She had a chance to get out at the end of the Battle of Blackwater, but she refused
2. She’s considering running away with Littlefinger
3. She thinks people (besides Shay) are looking out for her, when they’re really just using her (i.e. Littlefinger, the Tyrells)

I know where I stand, but do you?

Oh and Joffrey was the one who tried to have Tyrion killed. Not surprising. A Lannister family get together is eventually going to get as awkward as Thanksgiving with the Buss family.

3a. A Stark in the Woods- Part One: Arya
3b. Stannis “The B Stand for Plan B” Baratheon

Through Arya we’ve been introduced the Brotherhood Without Banners and through the Brotherhood we’ve learned that crazy Melisandre isn’t the only one out there bowing down to the God of Light. It doesn’t make her any less creepy, but it definitely makes it more interesting to know that there is more to that story. She wants Gendry because she needs the blood of the true king, which Gendry has because he’s King Robert’s bastard. You have to wonder, at some point is someone going to let poor Gendry know why all these people are after him? It’s certainly not because of his skills in metal shop.

In Arya’s eyes, Melisandre saw the people she would eventually kill. We already knew Arya would do something awesome down the road and then Melisandre went and confirmed it. Thank you crazy red devil woman.

Hey, here’s some SAT fun for you:

Arya:Gendry::Becky:Tim Riggins

4. The Odd Couple- Brienne & Jaime

It looks like their adventures together are coming to an end. Let’s hope they exchange email addresses.

5. The King of the North’s Honeymoon

Little table-setting for Robb this week as he looks to build up his army after half of them bailed once he beheaded their leader. Given the changes that have Jon Snow and Arya have gone through, don’t you think Robb would benefit from having them at his side? I wonder if that will ever happen.

6. A Stark in the Woods- Part Two: Bran & Rickon

Kind of getting bored with this one. Even Hodor has to be wondering what exactly they’re doing.

7. The Night’s Watch Sam & Gilly’s Adventures Beyond the Wall

Let’s see where these two fall in our hierarchy of new Game of Thrones’ couples…

1. Jon Snow & Ygritte
2. Joffrey & Margery Tyrell
3. Robb & Whatever His Wife’s Name Is
4. Sam & Gilly

Bummer. They get points for cuteness, though.

8. Daenerys & Her Dragons

Not around this week. Probably doing something awesome. Still more interesting than…

9. So…who’s torturing Theon?

Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. Just when we think we’re finally getting answers about Theon’s captivity, his captor punks him and in turn, punks us. I don’t like getting punked and I’m sure no one else does either.

If you want to cut to the chase, you can go HERE to find out who is torturing Theon. You know, if knowing things is something you’re into.

Photos: HBO

Categories: Game of Thrones, Power Rankings, Television

Tags: a lannister always pays their debts, do we have to climb down now, Game of Thrones, game of thrones plot line power rankings, jon snow, king of the north, kings landing, power couples, power rankings, the climb, the night is dark and full of terrors, ygritte