GIF Review: Jack White “Boarding House Reach”

In an attempt to keep things positive, using GIFs to review the latest album from the unfortunately unpredictable & unreliable Jack White

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Jack White released a new album on Friday. It’s called Boarding House Reach. It’s terrible.

No wait, I’m now saying that for the sake of saying it. It is legitimately a bad album of bad music. The best I can say is that there are brief moments of good music and even a moment or two of pretty good music. But overall? Overall the album is straight garbage.

I first tried listening to it on Friday because even though my relationship with Jack White is one that resides in frustrating consistency, I wanted to give it a shot. When the dude is on point, he’s one of the best rock guitarists out there and a true purveyor of a a diesel rock ‘n roll riff.

Case in point:

That my friends, is a fantastic rock song. The riff is a King Kong rock ‘n roll riff and those drums are effin’ inspirational. Surely the fella responsible for such a top shelf level rock song could be counted on to produce more top shelf level rock songs, right?

silence

Okay. But what about top shelf level rock songs that are maybe a little different, maybe the product of the fella in question feeling the need to experiment a little and change things up? Surely this fella could drop some of those tasty nuggets, right? You know, because he has a track record of producing other tasty nuggets?

silence

Yeah, it’s true. There is nothing on this new album that would demonstrate any kind of likeness or familiarity with the man responsible for “Freedom at 21,” let alone anything done by The White Stripes, the Raconteurs or even a song like I don’t know, one of his good ones. And I don’t want it to sound like I’m opposed to the idea of someone like White doing some experimenting. I’m not. He’s an artist and artists should experiment, they should do some exploring. But at some point during said explorations you should be mindful of how your bread is buttered and mindful of the fact that your fans like that bread.

So you know, stray if you must, but don’t go where I can’t see you.

To really sum up my feelings about Boarding House Reach, I’m turning to GIFs. Why? Because the negativity can then be possibly covered up by some humor. The album is a frustrating downer. A review of the album doesn’t have to be.

“Connected by Love”

Image result for uh, okay gif

“Why Walk a Dog?”

Image result for what the gif

“Corporation”

Image result for who's coming with me gif

“Abuila and Akrasia”

Image result for too much talking gif

“Hypermisophoniac”

Image result for nope gif

“Ice Station Zebra”

Related image

“Over and Over and Over”

Image result for bangs head on wall gif

“Everything You’ve Ever Learned”

Related image

“Respect Commander”

Image result for loud noises gif

“Ezmerelda Steals the Show”

Image result for bad poetry gif

“Get In the Mind Shaft”

Image result for confused gif

“What’s Done is Done”

Image result for face plant gif

“Humoresque”

Image result for bored gif

 

 

  1. I guess, for artists like Jack White, of whom I am a fan, this just goes with the territory, and you just gotta take the awful with the brilliant.

    Reply

    1. Totally agree. You just hope the awful isn’t this awful.

      Reply

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