Let’s Talk About Big Little Lies

Now that the Oscars are over and with it, the seemingly never-ending award show season, it’s time we turn our attention to the next thing that is bound to capture our country’s attention. No, I’m not talking about the President and I’m not talking about the NBA. It seems like we all know how both of those things are going to end. (Spoiler: hopefully with two self-appointed kings going down.) I’m talking about Big Little Lies, the new limited series occupying HBO’s coveted Sunday night spot.

Two episodes in and the show has already proven itself to be deliciously wonderful lifestyle porn tucked inside a round robin of Mommy Wars, day-drinking, a 6 year old with unbelievable music taste and embattled school drop-off/pick-up monitors. Let’s break down some of the key questions we have so far.

The following contains spoilers if you haven’t seen the first two episodes

What Do We Know?

Image result for big little lies movie

Well, I’d say we know a couple things.

We know that Reese Witherspoon is murdering it as Madeline Martha Mackenzie, a mother of two, husband of one, director of rage at many. Madeline is best friends with Celeste (Nicole Kidman) and befriends Jane (Shailene Woodley) early on in the first episode. Madeline’s ex-husband still lives in town with his new wife, Bonnie (Zoe Kravitz,) and you know, that’s not great.

We know that this Jane character is hiding something. She’s a single-mom who recently moved to Monterey. Her son is named after Ziggy Stardust and the boy’s dad has reached peak Voldemort status – he who shall not be named. But come on, Jane has some kind of story here. A single mom with a part-time job isn’t randomly moving to a town like Monterey just because the school’s are good. I’m onto you Jane. Watching you like a hawk.

We know Celeste’s marriage to the young Perry (Alexander Skarsgard) isn’t as perfect as it seems because Perry has some rage issues that seems to result in the kind of sex that could maybe, kind of be considered, you know, kind of…(in a whisper) sexual assaultish. Celeste used to be a big time lawyer, but gave it up when she married Perry.

We know Monterey looks absolutely delightful. I want to go there. I want to maybe live there. Does every house have a sick ocean view? Well, Jane’s doesn’t. But that’s because Jane’s hiding something. See? Haven’t forgotten about you Jane.

And finally, we know that someone gets killed.

Image result for gasp gif

Yeah, it’s true. But what we don’t know is who gets killed and who kills them. So, with that being said…

Who Might Be the One Who Gets Murdered and Who Might Have Killed Them?

Okay, this is based solely on the first two episodes. I haven’t read the book the series is based on; I haven’t dug for any spoilers on the Internet. The following predictions are purely speculative.

Murdered: Renata
Murderer: Madeline

The Madeline/Renata beef is served up right from the jump, when Renata’s daughter accuses Ziggy of trying to choke her daughter on the first day of school. Madeline sticks up for her new bestie Jane, but it seems like she does so because she’s looking for another reason to stick it to Renata (Laura Dern.) These two appear to have been going at each other for a while. Given the heightened tension of the show, one killing the other doesn’t seem all that crazy.

Which is why…

Murdered: Madeline
Murderer: Renata

Don’t sleep on Renata. She may be on the board of Paypal, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t down to get dirty. And by dirty, I mean kill Madeline.

Murdered: Renata
Murderer: Jane

Because Jane has something to hide. Because Renata thinks Jane’s kid tried to choke hers. Because Jane looks like an egg on the verge of cracking.

Murdered: Renata
Murderer(s): Jane, Madeline

Except instead of doing karate in the garage, they went and killed Renata.

Murdered: Perry
Murderer: Celeste (with help from Jane & Madeline)

Maybe this show is all about girl power and the power of hardcore females sticking up for each other? Too early to rule it out, but early enough to at least consider it.

Murdered: ocean views
Murderer: fog

Ugh, can you even imagine?

Image result for big little lies ocean views

On a related note, are there no flies or mosquitoes in Monterey? Everyone has their doors open. If that’s the case, Monterey might be the best place on Earth and I say that with all due respect to Hawaii, which seems like a shoo-in for that award. Or maybe one of those huts on the ocean in Tahiti or Fiji. Those look pretty dope.

Murdered: Ed
Murdered: his beard trimmer

Ed is Madeline’s husband. Ed has a heck of a beard. Maybe Madeline asks him to trim it and he obliges because he seems like a good sport; the kind of husband who would do a thing like that if his wife asked. But Ed is rusty with the trimmer and distracted by the glorious ocean views outside the bathroom window, he ends up killing himself with an errant swipe of the trimmer. I mean, it doesn’t really answer everything. But maybe it does.

Murdered: Bonnie
Murderer: Madeline

Bonnie is Madeline’s ex-husband’s wife. Dude, she took Madeline’s oldest daughter to get birth control. That seems kind of shitty. Worth killing someone over? No. But maybe the murder is a culmination killing? Maybe Madeline just cracked and bam, killed Bonnie. Seems cliche, but it’s not as if Big Little Lies is running away from cliches in any kind of convincing way.

Murdered: Jane
Murderer: Madeline

Jane seems to have an eye for the dude who runs the coffee shop. Madeline thinks the dude who runs the coffee shop is gay. But maybe he isn’t? Maybe Madeline is just saying that because she has a thing for him. Oooohh and what if Jane starts dating him and THAT’S the straw that breaks the back for Madeline and causes her to snap?

Murderer: Jane
Murderer: Renata

Moms take the safety of their kids seriously. If Renata believes Jane’s son attempted to choke her daughter, she could choose to act out somewhat irrationally. Or maybe she just hears Jane is a Venmo user and has made some disparaging remarks about Paypal? I’d say it’s 50/50.

Time will tell, but I’d say the early safe money is on Madeline killing someone.

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I guess we’ll see.




Categories: Television

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