The 2021 Grammys: Who Will & Who Should Win

The Grammys are on Sunday and hey, the fun fact about the Grammys is that they’re absurd. They don’t make any sense. They’ve never really made sense and as music has expanded beyond the fence lines of traditional genres, they’ve only made less sense. And then you factor in the shift within the hierarchy of genres (i.e. rap moving up the ladder, rock moving down), and trying to hand out awards for music is on par with me cleaning up the house at the end of the day with two kids living here: pointless.

I’d like to present the following as evidence:

In 2002, the soundtrack for O Brother, Where Art Thou? won the Grammy for Album of the Year, beating Outkast’s Stankonia. That year, neither Is This It by the Strokes or Daft Punk’s Discovery was nominated, both of which are omissions that only look worse with each passing year.

Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot wasn’t nominated the following year and two years later, a solid case could be made for American Idiot by Green Day winning instead of (checks notes) Ray Charles. Then in 2006, U2 won for How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb instead of Kanye West winning for Late Registration. Kanye also didn’t win for Graduation two years later, although neither did Amy Winehouse, who was nominated for Back to Black. Obviously, Herbie Hancock won.

Mumford and Sons beat Frank Ocean. Taylor Swift’s 1989 beat Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly and in 2017, neither Ocean’s Blonde nor Rihanna’s Anti were nominated.

And don’t even get me started on the Best New Artist category.

I Feel Like Im Taking Crazy Pills GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Yet unlike The Weeknd, I’m still going to pay attention to the Grammys, and come Sunday, I’ll watch. To be clear, I don’t care who wins. I’m mainly watching for the performances.

But it’s Friday and the sun is shining. Let’s look at the nominees and make a prediction for who wins and in most cases, who should win. Oh and no, I’m not going through all the categories. It’s for the best.

Let’s go!

Album of the Year
Chilombo, Jhené Aiko
Black Pumas (Deluxe Edition), Black Pumas
Everyday Life, Coldplay
Djesse Vol. 3, Jacob Collier
Women in Music Pt. III, Haim
Future Nostalgia, Dua Lipa
Hollywood’s Bleeding, Post Malone
folklore, Taylor Swift

Will Win: Either Future Nostalgia or folklore
Should Win: Women in Music Pt. III but hello Black Pumas. I see you. I cherish you.

Record of the Year
“Black Parade,” Beyoncé
“Colors,” Black Pumas
“Rockstar,” DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch
“Say So,” Doja Cat
“everything i wanted,” Billie Eilish
“Don’t Start Now,” Dua Lipa
“Circles,” Post Malone
“Savage,” Megan Thee Stallion featuring Beyoncé

Will Win: “Don’t Start Now”
Should Win: Uh… “Savage?” But again, I see you, Black Pumas, and “Circles” is stuck in my head forever.

Song of the Year
“Black Parade,” Beyoncé
“The Box,” Roddy Ricch
“cardigan,” Taylor Swift
“Circles,” Post Malone
“Don’t Start Now,” Dua Lipa
“everything i wanted,” Billie Eilish
“I Can’t Breathe,” H.E.R.
“If the World Was Ending,” JP Saxe featuring Julia Michaels

Will Win: “Don’t Start Now”
Should Win: It’s Dua Lipa’s world, kids. We’re all just living in it. Also, wasn’t “Black Parade” a My Chemical Romance song, Bey?

Best New Artist
Ingrid Andress
Phoebe Bridgers
Noah Cyrus
Chika
D Smoke
Doja Cat
Kaytranada
Megan Thee Stallion

Will Win: Megan Thee Stallion
Should Win: Phoebe Bridg…nah, I’m just kidding. Megan Thee Stallion kids. This isn’t the Pitchfork Grammys.

Best Pop Solo Performance
“Yummy,” Justin Bieber
“Say So,” Doja Cat
“everything i wanted,” Billie Eilish
“Don’t Start Now,” Dua Lipa
“Watermelon Sugar,” Harry Styles
“cardigan,” Taylor Swift

Will Win/Should Win:

Dua Lipa GIF by NOW That's Music - Find & Share on GIPHY

Buuuuuuttt… “cardigan,” tho?

Best Pop Vocal Album
Changes, Justin Bieber
Chromatica, Lady Gaga
Future Nostalgia, Dua Lipa
Fine Line, Harry Styles
folklore, Taylor Swift

Will Win: Eff, Dua Lipa
Should Win: Harry Styles? Nah, I’m just kidding. Or am I?

Best Rock Performance
“The Steps,” Haim
“Stay High,” Brittany Howard
“Not,” Big Thief
“Shameika,” Fiona Apple
“Kyoto,” Phoebe Bridgers
“Daylight,” Grace Potter

Will Win: “Shameikia”
Should Win: Either “The Steps” or I’m down with “Shameika.” “Stay High” makes me happy, though. You know, for whatever that’s worth.

Best Rock Song
“Kyoto,” Phoebe Bridgers
“Lost in Yesterday,” Tame Impala
“Not,” Big Thief
“Shameika,” Fiona Apple
“Stay High,” Brittany Howard

Will Win: “Shameika”
Should Win: “Shameika”

Best Rock Album
A Hero’s Death, Fontaines D.C.
Kiwanuka, Michael Kiwanuka
Daylight, Grace Potter
Sound & Fury, Sturgill Simpson
The New Abnormal, the Strokes

Will Win, Should Win:

Sturgill Simpson Shares 'Make Art Not Friends' Video

But, couldn’t we have at least nominated Pearl Jam? I’m just saying.

Best Alternative Music Album
Fetch the Bolt Cutters, Fiona Apple
Hyperspace, Beck
Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers
Jaime, Brittany Howard
The Slow Rush, Tame Impala

Will Win: Fetch the Bolt Cutters
Should Win: Fetch the Bolt Cutters 

Fetch the Bolt Cutters wins the Grammy for Best Album Title too.

Best Progressive R&B Album
Chilombo, Jhené Aiko
Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle
Free Nationals, Free Nationals
Fuck Yo Feelings, Robert Glasper
It Is What It Is, Thundercat

Will Win: Ungodly Hour
Should Win: It Is What It Is

Best Rap Performance
“Deep Reverence,” Big Sean featuring Nipsey Hussle
“BOP,” DaBaby
“Whats Poppin,” Jack Harlow
“The Bigger Picture,” Lil Baby
“Savage,” Megan Thee Stallion featuring Beyoncé
“Dior,” Pop Smoke

Will Win: “Savage”
Should Win: SOMETHING BY RUN THE JEWELS YOU BASTARDS

Best Melodic Rap Performance
“Rockstar,” DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch
“Laugh Now Cry Later,” Drake featuring Lil Durk
“Lockdown,” Anderson .Paak
“The Box,” Roddy Ricch
“Highest in the Room,” Travis Scott

Will Win: “The Box”
Should Win: 

Or Anderson .Paak. Either is fine.

Best Rap Album
Black Habits, D Smoke
Alfredo, Freddie Gibbs and the Alchemist
A Written Testimony, Jay Electronica
King’s Disease, Nas
The Allegory, Royce Da 5’9”

Will Win: King’s Disease or Black Habits
Should Win:
Alfredo

The Country Categories?

Jason Isbell to donate his share of Morgan Wallen's sales to NAACP

You snub Jason Isbell, I snub you.

But also, let’s remember when it comes to the Grammys:

Moody Parks And Recreation GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Damn, maybe The Weeknd is onto something.

 

 



Categories: Music

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2 replies

  1. “SOMETHING BY RUN THE JEWELS YOU BASTARDS”

    I feel this in my bones.

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